After shave

I never really used it.  Every single aftershave lotion I have ever tried was either like smearing Vasoline on my face, or Everclear.  They gave me ingrown hairs, blackheads and zits, raw skin, dry skin, you name the bad skin condition and I got it.  So I just tossed aftershaves aside as worthless, and ignored them as much as possible.

So last week the Ragin' Mrs. brings me home a small sample of this.  From Clinique?  I don't need make-up, honey!  Isn't Clinique a woman kind of thing?

"Just try it." she says.  So I do.

Wow.  It actually works.  And my face doesn't feel like the Exxon Valdez broke open across my upper lip.

I'll be getting some more soon.

Um...... REALLY?

So this guy says that the birth scene in the new "Twilight" movie caused him to have seizures.

Wow.  How do I say this?  Mr. Seizure Man - if you're watching that movie in a theater, I would say that your COMPLETE AND TOTAL LACK OF TESTICLES would be of more importance.

Seriously - you couldn't get me to watch that movie if you friggin' PAID me.  I think that any man who willingly walks into a theater to see the "Twilight" movies is either a castrated mincing little girly-man or gay.  Sparkley gay emo vampires?  Not just no but hell NO!

Bleah!

So.....

How about them Packers, huh?

I'm Seahawks fan in Packerland right now, and I swear to you that the folks around me have stopped trying to convert me to the First Church of Green Bay, and have now started just giving me looks filled with pity.  Some little old ladie tried thrusting cookies with a condolence note into my hand last Sunday when she saw me wearing my Seahawks shirt.

Why did we ever hire Pete Carrol?  And don't give me that stuff about how the Seahawks beat the Ravens.  That's a sign of how weak and inconsistent the Ravens can be, not a sign about how great the Seahawks aree.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Now get offline and go have fun with real people!

Anne McCaffrey has passed

Damn, I remember reading her books by the dozens when I was growing up.  I had an Anne McCaffrey section in my little library.

She was a special writer with a special talent.  You could do much worse for your kids than buying them the "Dragonriders of Pern" set and giving it to them for Christmas.

Gots me some visitors coming today

They're coming in by train.  So I went to the Amtrak website and checked their arrival time - it's a little late, which happens coming through the plains.

I can still remember working with the Pentium 386, and when a friend tried to tell me about the internet, all I could ask was "What's that?"  Now I'm using my computer to check the arrival time of a train.

Simple, you ask?  It wasn't that simple years ago.  Heck, there are generations of kids who never knew a world without computers making things easier or simpler.

What's a task that you now take for granted on a computer?

Yep

Went over to The Smallest Minority and saw the quote that I had to steal:

The Republicans more or less follow the laws and constitutional procedures, the Democrats deliberately and consciously break them. But the Republicans, while they complain incessantly about the Democrats, never identify this underlying fact. Why? Because that would show that the system is no longer legitimate. And the function of the Republicans, as "patriotic, conservative Americans," is to uphold the goodness and legitimacy of the system, a legitimacy which rests on the belief that everyone in American politics shares the same basic principles and loyalties. So the Republicans, as defenders of the system and its presumed basic unity, cannot expose what the Democrats are. If they exposed it, politics would be replaced by open war between two radically incompatible parties and America as we know it would come to an end. 

 I need to add my two cents here - the establishment GOP doesn't want to expose the Democrats as the cheating fucking anti-American asshats they are because much of the establishment GOP is enjoying the material wealth gained through cheating for themselves.  They don't want to see the Gravy Train come to an end.  They're just as elitist as the Democrat American Communist Party is.

But there are two radically incompatible parties in America.  There's the Left, and then there's the Americans.

Woke up way too early

Even after two belts of whiskey and my head hitting the pillow at 2200 hrs, I still couldn't sleep in past 0545.

My body seems to have determined that it's an early riser.  Both my parents are probably feeling a disturbance in the force, and they have no idea why.

Ah well.  Spent some time washing more of the carrots that came out of our garden.  I have a giant tub of heirloom carrots sitting in my kitchen right now, and I'm going to turn them into dill pickled carrots.  Hopefully they taste good. 

I'll probably just simply can a bunch of them as well.  I have a LOT of carrots.

My laugh for the day

After sitting out all day hunting Bambi and getting skunked, I needed this laugh:

At the scene Thursday night, Flynn told reporters that officers wouldn't help protesters fulfill their "martyrdom fantasies" and they could stay "and freeze their butts off."

The bridge "cleared itself," as protesters left about 40 minutes after his announcement that there would be no mass arrest, Flynn recalled Friday.

 Flea party temper tantrum getting ignored?  Well.....  yeah, check.  Flea Party walking off with pouty face firmly in place?  CHECK!  Yeah, you go ahead and "occupy" a bridge in Wisconsin in mid-November there, genius.  Tell me how that works out for you, after you get out of the hospital for your frostbite and hypothermia.

On their butts.

HAA!

Hat tip to the Headmistress.

This isn't a shock -

Nancy Pelosi is corrupt as hell.  Naw, really?  Tell me another one!  I'm stunned!  This is my stunned face!

Going hunting

Although the last two times I went out, I got skunked.  But what the hell, hope springs eternal or something like that.

Maybe this year, I can make Bambi my bitch.

On a Dime

Just random thoughts here - I went to pull out of my parking space at work yesterday, and did what I would normally do in my truck - crank the wheel hard to the right and slowing ease on out.

I damn near backed right into the side of the vehicle next to me.

My truck, while not a full-size, still had a decent turning radius.  I could pull a U-turn in the road if I went all the way to one side and then turned the wheels.  My little runner could pull a U-turn in my friggin' driveway.  The turning radius on that thing is so small that I swear I could do a circle and it would pivot, not turn.

That'll be handy in the summertime!

But Mom, they're not people! THEY'RE HIPPIES!

Dirty.


Filthy.

Nasty!

Hippies!

Winter Wind

Went running this morning - took a route that passes by the local VFW.  They've got the US flag up high, and ten other flags on a lower set of poles; all the Armed services flags, the POW/MIA flag, Wisconsin Flag, etc.

Every last one of their flags was sticking straight out in the wind.

Yep.  It's winter.  And it's getting colder by the day, although we've been blessed with a beautiful Indian Summer here.

Nose to the grindstone

I've been too busy to do much news browsing, but what I've seen just makes me sick.  By the way, when are the riots over Elena Kagan going to break out when she refuses to recuse herself after working in favor of Obamacare?

Just asking.

Three Hundred Bitchslaps

And I do mean Bitchslaps.

The “Occupy” movement, whether displaying itself on Wall Street or in the streets of Oakland (which has, with unspeakable cowardice, embraced it) is anything but an exercise of our blessed First Amendment. “Occupy” is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. These clowns can do nothing but harm America.

“Occupy” is nothing short of a clumsy, poorly-expressed attempt at anarchy, to the extent that the “movement” – HAH! Some “movement”, except if the word “bowel” is attached - is anything more than an ugly fashion statement by a bunch of iPhone, iPad wielding spoiled brats who should stop getting in the way of working people and find jobs for themselves.

That there is a backhand that will loosen teeth.  And I loved the ending:

In the name of decency, go home to your parents, you losers. Go back to your mommas’ basements and play with your Lords Of Warcraft.

Or better yet, enlist for the real thing. Maybe our military could whip some of you into shape.

They might not let you babies keep your iPhones, though. Try to soldier on.

Schmucks.

HOO-FUCKING-RAH!

Home again

Was out on business.  Home now, and waiting for dinner.  Later, a walk with the puppy and a good cigar.

Tired.  Brain not working.

Veteran's Day

There's plenty of folks who have spoken words much finer than I can compose.  I'm simply one small, tiny part of a giant tapestry that goes back for hundreds of years, and when I shake the hands of men who have endured trials that any modern man would consider life-breaking, I can only offer humble thanks to the men who paved my road for me.

This year, instead of just thanking a vet, try volunteering with a local veterans organization.  Put action to your words.  Join the American Legion, or the Patriot Guard Riders.  If you're a vet, join the VFW.  I listened to a Lieutenant Colonel give a speech, and his dominant theme is that we still need to serve if we're committed to keeping America great.  He's right.  You can't just go home anymore and think that everything is going to be fine.  As we can see, it's not.

Being a veteran means that at some point and time, you have offered yourself to the service of your country.  It doesn't mean that your service is over, or that you can relax.

But it does mean that you have my thanks, and the thanks of millions of Americans who understand what you've given.

From:

To:

Be a Man, make some bread

Ok folks, here is my simple, easy bread recipe.  This is one of those things that you can futz with all you want, as it's just a basic loaf of bread.  Actually, this recipe will give you two to four loaves, depending on how big you make them.

You're going to need:

6 cups of white flour.  I use the "Better for Bread" high-gluten flour.
2 cups water
1 tablespoon raw sugar
1 tablespoon yeast
1 tablespoon butter
1 teaspoon salt.

Let me start by saying that I use a stand mixer to mix my dough.  You can do it by hand, it just takes a lot more effort.

Warm up your water.  You want it no more than 100 degrees.  If you can pour it over your wrist without discomfort, you should be good.  Dissolve your sugar in the water, and then add your yeast.  Let the yeast get happy.

While the yeast is getting happy, put TWO cups of your flour in a mixing bowl.  Cut the butter into small cubes, and toss it in.  Add the salt.  Once the yeast is happy, and you can tell by having a layer of froth on top of the water, pour the water/yeast mixture into the flour.  Mix well.

Once you have your water/yeast/flour mixed, change to a dough hook.  Start mixing again, adding your flour in ONE HALF CUP AT A TIME.  This is important.  Due to the fact that we're measuring out our flour by VOLUME and not by WEIGHT, the actual amount of flour you're going to use may vary by as much as a cup.  By adding your flour one half cup at a time, you're giving the flour a chance to mix in the dough, and not adding too much flour. 

You can tell you've added enough flour when the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl, and it doesn't stick to your finger when you poke it.

Now that your dough ball is mixed, you have to knead it.  Spread some flour on a flat, clean surface and turn your dough out of the bowl.  Knead it until it's smooth.  If the dough begins to "break", or you see it tearing as you fold and knead it, stop.  It's been kneaded enough.

Put the dough into a bowl that's been oiled.  Cover it with a damp towel or some plastic wrap.  Let it rise.  The dough is going to double in size, so make sure you have it in a large enough bowl. 

Here is where you can play around.  After the dough is risen, you can punch it down and let it rise again.  The more you punch it down, the smaller and more evenly dispersed the air bubbles in the dough will be.  If you only let it rise once, you're going to get larger, uneven air pockets in your bread, which gives it a rather rustic feel.  If you really want a rustic bread, don't bother with the bowl.  Shape it into loaves, let it rise, and then pop them in the oven when they're risen.  I normally punch the dough down one or two times.

After the last rise, however many you do, turn the dough out of the bowl onto your floured surface again.  Punch it down, and cut it into about four pieces.  You can ball these pieces up and put them into bread loaf pans, or you can roll them out into long loaves and put them on a sheet pan.  For a little different flavor, roll the dough out flat, sprinkle a light coat of rosemary into the dough, and then roll the dough into a long loaf.  Let the dough rise one more time.  This is a good time to pre-heat your oven to 410 degrees.

Once your loaves have risen that last time, place them into the oven at 410.  Bake for fifteen minutes.  Rotate shelves, and cook for ten more minutes.  Pull them out and let them cool just enough to handle, then cut a piece off, put some butter on it and eat it.

That's it.  Easy, simple, NO PRESERVATIVES, no crap, no junk, and it tastes great.  You can add just about anything you want to this bread to change it up - spices, different herbs, an egg, you name it.  Or you can just make it plain, and turn it into french toast, or sandwiches. 

Don't let it sit out too long.  Remember, there's no preservatives, so it won't stay "fresh" for more than a couple of days.  Goober recommends freezing it outside of any wrapper for a day, and then pulling it out and sealing it in a vacuum bag to avoid getting freezer burn. 

There you have it.  Bread, made by you.  Go for it.

Why is nobody beating his face in?

Where I come from, screaming in someone's face is a sign of aggression, and should be responded to accordingly.  Beat.  His.  Fucking.  Face.  In.  Stomp a mudhole in his ass, and maybe the next time he feels froggy he won't go screaming in respectable people's faces.

In any case, video cameras are exposing just what a collection of freaks and losers the Occupy camps are.  And Obama endorsed!  Don't forget that, especially when the reports of rape and sexual assault keep coming out.  Obama-endorsed rape camps.