Saturday, July 26, 2014

What "50 Shades of Grey" taught me

Actually, the reaction to "50 Shades of Grey", because I haven't read on bit of the books.  I picked it up at the store, thumbed to a point in the middle and read a few paragraphs.  What I read left me so unimpressed that I put the book down and walked away.  It's pr0n, plain and simple.  And who gobbled it up?

Women.  By the millions.  And millions.  Woman after woman bought and read all three books, and now they're making a movie out of it.  Matt Walsh gives you 4 reasons to hate it, but I'm going to just sit back and watch the fur fly once this movie comes out.  Hell, if I recall correctly there were shit-storms about the guy who they originally picked to play the "protagonist", and I'm using that word loosely.

The fact that "50 Shades of Grey" and it's sequels have made so much money and been so popular highlights some interesting facts about American women.  They, the women who love these books, fantasize about being dominated by an amoral, one-dimentional sociopath.  Which means that millions upon millions of women are proving my point that women love jackasses.

The movie is going to make a shit-ton of cash, because there are enough people in America who will enjoy seeing BDSM sex on the big screen.  They won't be getting any of my money, but considering how often I (don't) go to the movies these days that's not really saying much.

But every time the cash register goes ka-CHING! I'll be smiling at the thought of all those self-righteous feminists paying to see what they claim to be their worst nightmare, even while their panties are getting sopping wet at the thought of a woman being tied up, whipped, beaten, abused verbally and emotionally, and then used as a sex toy.

Does that make me a bad person?  Meh.  I don't care

Get your coats ready

Despite the unholy heat in Los Angeles, which is probably due to it being next-door to hell, the rest of the world seems to have a small little trend going on.

Folks, global warming is a hoax, OK?  It's a hoax created and maintained by people who want money; they want your money if they can guilt it out of you, and they want government money for saying all the right things.  When the people who scream the loudest also do the very things they claim to be against, you cannot take them at their word, can you?  Hell no, you cannot.

Stop worrying about the globe warming up.  Buy coats.  And long-johns.  If you're up North, lay in a supply of firewood.  There is no such thing as "Global Warming" but there ARE such things as an Ice Age.

It's a good thing the cops were there

Otherwise this worthless douchebag would have been murdered.  One of LA's "urban artists" (otherwise known as taggers, criminals and vandals) decided to try tagging a sign hanging over I-5 during rush hour on Friday afternoon.

Yeah.  Friggin' brilliant there, Mr. Brainiac.

Ah well....  if they were intelligent, they probably wouldn't be tagging street signs, would they?

In the mean time, if this douchebag's name ever gets released on a wide basis this week, his life expectancy can be measured in hours due to all the people who's commute he completely screwed up.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Well, OooooKAY then!

I can't let Day by Day put up a hot topless red-head without responding in kind!

Uh, if you have to ask if it's safe for work, you don't click the link, right?

A 115db wake-up

The Ragin' Mrs. has had several run-ins with people on the local bike path who are exercising with their earphones in.  This causes people to not hear the ringing of a bicycle bell, or the call of "ON YOUR LEFT", or much of anything to be honest.  And if people stayed to the right and let faster folks pass on the left it wouldn't be much of a problem.

But since people seem to think that taking up the entire bike path and drowning out any kind of outside noise is a perfectly grand idea, there are problems.  And the Ragin' Mrs. has almost wrecked her bike trying to avoid these morons who can't be bothered to know what is going on around them.

So today, I had to get new pedals for my bike, as I'd thrashed the old ones into twisted bits of plastic.  We ride to the bike shop, I get my pedals, we buy some chain lube, and the Ragin' Mrs. picks up a 115db air horn that mounts to your handlebars.

Oh, yeah, baby!

You fill up a small air tank with your bicycle pump, up to 100 psi.  You can control the volume on the horn, but at full blast it'll kick-start your adrenaline glands.

So the next time someone veers into her lane because they're too lost in their own little world, they're gonna get a 115db wake-up call.

Thursday, July 24, 2014


I knew I was going to be making a martini tonight to go with my cigar.  So a couple of hours before, I put the glass in the freezer.  When it came time to make the martini, I shook it up, pulled the glass out of the freezer, put the olives in an poured it over them.

When it's 100 degrees outside, an ice-cold martini is a thing of joy.

So in other words, Socialists are cheaters

Well, duh.

Anytime you live in a system of government that robs you of your hard work in order to pay for some slacker, you're going to end up a cheater.  Because you're either trying to protect your hard work (in the form of your earnings), or you're the slacker who wants to be a lazy shitstain and a parasite on the rest of society.

Socialism fails.  Always.  And this is just another example of why.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

It's that time again

That time of year where you get into triple digit temps, and it never, ever cools down.  Oh, you wanted a cool night breeze?  Fuck you, it's 90 at 2100 hrs, and it will not cool down much from there.

Enjoy your sweat-soaked night trying to find some shred of sleep.

Oh, and before anyone tells me about the miracles of air conditioning, I'd like to remind you that I live in the stinking, festering shithole of Los Angeles.  So, AC means a $700 electric bill.  Yeah.  I so enjoy getting bent over a fence and ass-fucked with a sandpaper condom by the worthless fuckheads in this state who decided that building a power plant is evil, even though demand for power has fucking quadrupled since the last power plant was built.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Tony Dungy is right

So former NFL coach Tony Dungy made a plain and simple statement about Michael Sam:

"I wouldn't have taken him,'' Dungy told the Tampa Bay Tribune. “Not because I don't believe Michael Sam should have a chance to play, but I wouldn't want to deal with all of it. 
"It's not going to be totally smooth ... things will happen."

Naturally, the Tolerance Brigade is up in arms, calling Tony Dungy everything but a white boy.  And for what?  For simply stating his opinion as to what he would have done as a coach.

And let's be honest here, shall we?  Michael Sam wasn't first round talent.  Or second round talent.  Or third round talent.  He was picked up in the seventh round of the draft, and after his combine performance I have my doubts as to if he deserved to go that high.

Oh, so he was SEC Defensive Player of the Year?  Whoop-de-friggin-do.  Quick, name the Big 12 Defensive Player of the Year, who wasn't even drafted.

What?  A Defensive Player of the Year who didn't get drafted?  B-b-b-b-b-but, that's unpossible!  Michael Sam!  Homophobia!

Yeah, whatever.  I won't even mention about how Sam's face looks like he's about ready to burst into tears at the drop of a hat; the guy is mediocre talent at best.  If he were not gay, you would have never heard of him unless your team drafted him.  What, you don't believe me?  Quick, how many other seventh-round picks had film crews there, with a cake and a significant other?  None, that's who.  How many other seventh-round draft picks were pushing for their own TV show from Oprah?  None, that's who.

So Tony Dungy wouldn't want to deal with the Michael Sam circus as a coach.  You know what?  I wouldn't either!  Can you imagine the hate that Jeff Fisher is going to get if he doesn't kow-tow to the gay mafia?  Who the hell would want that?

Tony Dungy was perfectly right in what he said.  The fact that the Gay Mafia is howling for his scalp proves how right he is - if Michael Sam had first round talent, it wouldn't even be an issue.  First rounders bring their own media circus with them half the time.  But some mediocre guy who probably only got drafted because he was gay and the NFL knew exactly how bright the spotlights were on them?

I wouldn't want him on my team either.

Oh, the Big 12 Defensive Player of the Year who didn't get drafted?  Jackson Jeffcoat.  Got picked up by my Seahawks as an undrafted free agent.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Oh, nope the hell out

Ladies - if you're having marital problems, and your husband says (or writes) some things to you in private that you're not happy with, the last thing you want to do is post it on Reddit, m'kay?

This guy needs to dump his wife like a bad habit.  There is no way in hell I would ever stay with a cold, non-sexual, neutering bitch like that.

Is that harsh?  Good, it needs to be harsh.  This "woman", and I use the term loosely, wants to complain about her husbands immature behavior while she's posting their dirty laundry on Reddit?????

Nope.  Nope the hell right outta that marriage, because it's not going to get any better from there.