Nucking Futs....

The Loony Liberals living in Koo-Koo Land (AKA Los Angeles) have now decided that police officers need to run away from armed criminals.

No, really.  They actually said that.

You couldn't pay me enough to be a cop right now.  It's damned if you do, damned if you don't, and the criminals always win.

If someone is coming at you with a knife, shoot them.  If someone is coming at you with a gun, shoot them.  If someone is coming at you with a bat, a sword, a chainsaw, an actual chain, or bricks in both hands...

SHOOT THEM.

"Oh but Dave, how can you decide that their life blah blah blah blah" FUCK that stupid bullshit.  I didn't make that decision.  THEY made that choice when they decided to attack me.  I don't attack people.  I don't go around committing assault on people on the street.  Don't want to get shot?  Cool!  I don't want to shoot you.  But if you come at me with intent to harm me or mine, I'll put you down like a rabid dog, and I won't have any damn qualms about it.

People who come at cops with weapons deserve to get shot.  Cops deserve to shoot people coming at them with a weapon.  It's too sad that the people running Lost Angeles are so fucking drug-addled and mentally ill that they cannot comprehend this simple fact.

And it's yet another reason why I will never go back to that fucking shithole.

FREEEEDOOOOOOOOOM!

No more Los Angeles!  No more Los Angeles!  Buh-bye, you craphole!  WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!

Buh-bye

Ladies and Gents, after today I will never set foot in the disgusting, diseased, third-world shit-hole of Los Angeles ever.  Again.  Period.



YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Peak Laziness

Saw this while coming back from grocery shopping.  Damn near lost my mind.

This is just one example of why I cannot wait to leave this place.  It's full of people who are too stupid and lazy to push the damn shopping cart an extra six feet into the cart corral.

This attitude carries over into every other aspect of their lives.  Being that fucking lazy and worthless is not the problem; it is a symptom of the problem, and the problem is that I am surrounded by selfish, lazy, stupid fucking assholes on a constant basis.

Put the cart.  Into the corral.  Six.  Fucking.  Feet.  But apparently that's too much effort for the slack-jawed, drooling, mouth breathing fuckwits who live in the San Fernando Valley.  Just like putting their plastic bags into the trash was too much effort, which caused the LA river to be festooned with trees covered in plastic bags that were just tossed into the road.  Which is why LA county banned plastic bags, by the way.  Just like throwing your trash in a TRASH CAN takes too much effort, which is why I pick up litter from the sidewalk next to my house every week.

Just like giving a fuck about your fellow man takes too much effort for these shitheads, which is why every time I turn around I'm confronted by yet another greedy, selfish asshole who can't bother to do any of the basic things that make civilization function smoothly, such as use a turn signal, share the sidewalk, stop at red lights, pick up after their dog, or any other of the myriad acts of courtesy that allow people to live in close quarters.

Soon, soon, soon I will be out of this shithole.  And then, quite frankly, the entire city of Los Angeles can sink in to the ocean and drown for all I care.

Woke up feeling like crap

Went outside into the haze of pollution and crud in the air, and understood exactly why I felt like crap.  I look forward to getting the hell out of here.

How wrong is it

That I'm ecstatic that it's "only" going to get up to 90 degrees on October 15th?

Fuck this city.  Fuck it straight to hell.  Hell might just be cooler.

Things that make me see red

When I'm browsing the news, and the ads on the side of the page are in Spanish.

Can we just dump this entire city into the ocean and walk away?  Please?

Too damn hot to think yesterday

You shouldn't be soaked in sweat just from doing the dishes.

106 today

And it was in the 70's last week.  Ugh.

The worst part about the heat is that it also traps in the pollution.  It's a hellacious twofer!

Aroma

With all the rain that's fallen, there's new scents no matter where you go.

In my front yard, it's the smell of dry earth sucking up the water, and plants growing as fast as they can with the rain.

On the running path it's a clean scent of vegetation.

Around the trails in the park, it's the smell of all the piss and shit from the hobos and drug addicts all getting re-hydrated at once.

Seriously folks, I cannot for one moment think of why anyone would ever want to live in this city of their own choice.  I really can't.  What's so desirable here?  The pollution?  The greedy, selfish assholes who populate the place?  The illegal aliens?  The earthquakes?

Nothing says "Los Angeles"

like having some diseased parasite paw through your car at the park while you're out running the dogs.

Med kit was still there.  I don't carry any actual CD's in the car.  No electronics, because quite honestly I don't have any that I use in the car.  But my sweatshirt was moved around, and they had tried to get into the locked glove box.

I hate this fucking city.  And I hate it because of the people who inhabit it.

Dear People of Los Angeles

I know that you are some of the laziest sacks of shit to ever befoul this country.  But shoving a shopping cart into a curb, when the cart corral is TWENTY FEET BEHIND YOU???

My disgust of this place grows on a daily basis.

Headache

My wife is allergic to marijuana.

The smoke, in particular.  It triggers her migraine headaches.  It's just one thing in a long list of things that are triggers for her.  Most of what she's allergic to is food based, so it's easy enough to avoid.  Read labels.  Make sure food doesn't have certain ingredients in it.  So on and so forth.

But when you're out on a bike ride in the morning, and every bus-stop has some dipshit smoking weed like his life depended on it?  She got caught with a big blast of smoke towards the end of the ride, and by the time she got home five minutes later the visual symptoms were already hitting her.  By the time I left for work, she was curled up on the couch with the curtains drawn.

I can't beat the shit out of every loser who's doping up at a bus stop.  There's too many of them.  I wouldn't make it two blocks before I had to beat another loser half to death.

We have to plan our bike trips based on what streets have the most pot smokers, and try to avoid them.  But we can't even go on a bike path without plowing through a cloud of marijuana smoke that some no-life shitbag is blowing out as he gets high at 0630.

This city is a fucking cesspool, and once I escape I am never coming back.  It can fall off into the Pacific Ocean for all I care.  I wouldn't cry one tear for it.

Sirens

Some dude apparently was waving a gun at people in the Van Nuys area.

Driving home, I saw at least four different SWAT trucks hauling ass to the location.  There's been police copters hovering in the same area for hours.

See, this is why L.A. sucks.  Back in Idaho, that bastard would have been shot by a neighbor, tossed out on the front lawn, and all the cops would have to do is pick up the body.

Lot less noise that way for everyone else.

Oh, and since we're on a "Fuck Los Angeles" kick, the worthless fucking shithead who put a ding in my wife's door up at Porter Ranch?  Fuck you, you selfish, self-absorbed asshole.  You had better thank whatever gods you believe in that I wasn't there to see it, otherwise you'd be shitting your own teeth right now.

I truly do loath this city.  And most of the people in it.

Gurgle

One of the joys of living in Los Angeles is the constant pollution.  There's no escaping it; it surrounds you, you live in it, you suffer with it.  In my case, my allergies have been through the roof for the past two years.  Breathing is interesting some days.

So when you get rain, like we did Friday night and Saturday, and it clears out the air, suddenly your body doesn't know what to do.  But after it goes through it's period of shock, it tries to expel all the crap that's built up from fighting the pollution for so long.  So I've been hacking up lung biscuits yesterday and today.

Going for my run this morning, I blew a snotwad out of my sinuses that I'm pretty sure weighed more than my little dog.  And when I talk, I gurgle, until I can clear the crap out of my chest and talk normally.

Nine more months.  Nine.  And then I can escape.  I think the people who move here willingly all need a mental evaluation.

More Joys of Los Angeles

Running through the park, when I feel the urge to take a leak.  Damn.  I hate that.  And I'm not going to use the bushes like the damn hobos around here, as sections of the park already reek of rancid stale urine and I'm not going to add to that.

So I make my way around the park, and near the maintenance shed there's a public restroom that's open.  Yay, Maintenance guys!  I duck in and immediately hear the drug dealer in the shitter call out his challenge.

Dude.  I can't even take a leak without having to dodge the druggies and their handlers.

I managed to hold it in until I got home, and then damn near blew the porcelain off the john with a fire-hose amount of pressure.  I really cannot wait to get out of this city.

More Joys of Los Angeles

Running through the park and gagging on the marijuana smoke coming from the teenager who's sparking up before school starts.

I wonder how much money is wasted attempting to teach young pot-heads like him?

Stench

I have never before in my life lived in a place where, when running, I get hit with a smell that makes me vomit in mid-stride.

I couldn't tell you what it was if you paid me.  It was like a mix of hobo shit, skunk spray, and diesel fumes.

I'll take a freshly fertilized rice paddy in Korea any day; at least there it's just shit.

More joys of Los Angeles

When you go for a run, and you're having trouble with your uphill sprints, your lungs are burning, you don't know why, and you suddenly realize your eyes are burning as well.

Fucking pollution.

I really don't know why anyone would voluntarily move to this disgusting shithole.  The only reason I can think of is "mental instability", because there's certainly no way a sane person would ever want to move here.

Well, Crap

So, since I'm stationed in the festering shithole of Los Angeles, any time I have a mandatory physical exam (optical, dental, PHA, etc) I get to travel to the mandatory medical place mandated by the military for all "local" military place to use.

Which for me means traveling two hours.  No, that's not a typo.  Oh, and since this is government health care, the only appointment they had open was a month wait and mid-morning, which means that I get to travel on the 405 in rush-hour traffic.

Did I mention that I cannot wait to leave this fucking shithole, and how I want Los Angeles to fall off into the ocean and drown?  I did?  Well, I meant it.

One of the "quirks" of LA driving, and by "quirks" I mean the habits of the insanely stupid and drug-addled, is the habit of "white lining" that the motorcyclists here do.  Meaning, they ride the white line in traffic.  Now, this normally isn't a problem, as if some dipshit wants to turn himself into road pizza that's his concern and not mine.  Hell, it's legal here.  They call it "Lane Sharing", as if riding the line between lines is somehow sharing a line.  But I was attempting to make my way into the HOV lane (The Ragin' Mrs. was with me), I got caught up in typical LA traffic, which means that the 405 turned into a parking lot suddenly and without reason.  Which leaves me caught in mid lane change, unable to back up, unable to go forward, and right on the white line between the "fast" lane and the HOV lane, and since the fucking assholes here don't leave you any damn room there was nothing I could do except wait for traffic to start flowing again and complete the lane change.

Whereupon some guy on a Harley, hauling ass down the white line in rush-hour traffic, promptly slid right into me.

Now, luckily he's OK.  He managed to slow down to the point where it was a love tap.  But holy hell people, what kind of brain-dead fucktard hauls ass down a white line in rush-hour traffic in LA?  Apparently, this guy.

So, to recap - two hours in this traffic to go to my mandatory appointment at the mandatory place, get hit by a motorcycle, and then have to deal with the traffic all the way back up.



I cannot wait to leave.  Less than a year.  Less than a year.  Less than a year.