More about Paris...

I think we need to make sure we understand one thing "straight away", as they say in London, and that is that NONE of us would have EVER heard of Paris Hilton if her last name was "Tucker" or "Barnes". She's neither glamorous nor sexy nor charismatic.

She's a rich girl whose publicist (and maybe she has a whole team of them) has managed to get her name plastered in magazines and on MTV and on blogs like this one just by doing what publicists do.

Did I say she's "rich"? I guess I understate.

I personally like her sister better but while Paris is not beautiful in a classic or contemporary sense, she's not really ugly either. I can see how some fellas like to peer at her. I saw a Behind the Music show about Britney Spears once and one person interviewed said that Britney is just the latest blonde pop product in a society that demands there be a hot blonde product on the market at any given time. Galdernit we need a blonde to fawn over and Madison Avenue is gonna give us one, "even if it short dicks every cannibal in the Congo".

Or compels a top notch plastic man to sign an ironclad Non Disclosure.

Whatever - we need our blonde. Pining for a light-eyed Aryan with flaxen hair is as American as yearning to play the drum solo from Led Zeppelin's Moby Dick on James Carville's toes with a rock hammer like that one Andy Dufresne had in The Shawshank Redemption.

And yeah - the live version.

At any rate I know that honest men can disagree on the attractiveness of thin women but I guess just feel the need to strenuously object to you thin-a-phobes stomping the delightful memory of my one time Sheena Easton obsession.

Bastards!