Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Why the Big Three Auto Companies are dying

Here's a clue, you dipwads.... when you actually build a vehicle that your customers want to buy, it might be a nice idea to sell it to them.

Unless you’re a foreign military, government, or humanitarian organization, you’re not getting your hands on the Jeep J8, a vehicle we think a number of Jeepers would be all over in about two seconds if it were to be offered in neighborhood dealerships. Available as a two-door pickup (above) or a four-door (like the civilian Wrangler Unlimited), the J8 goes on sale this month and was officially revealed at Euro Camp Jeep ‘08 in Germany.

Power comes from a 150-horse turbodiesel with 295 lb-ft of torque, with that juice going to all four wheels via a five-speed auto and Jeep’s Command-Trac 4WD. The J8’s built to be a workhorse, with a Dana 60 rear, leaf springs in back, upgraded brakes, and a revamped intake that lets it ford 30 inches of water and handle a sandstorm lasting up to five hours. Its max payload is 2,750 pounds, and it has a towing capacity of over 7,700 pounds. Because the J8’s duties will vary depending upon who’s placing the order, a variety of cargo and seating configurations are offered, as is left- or right-hand-drive. All this, and no, you can’t order one. Yes, that sucks.

So you have a vehicle that would perform all the duties that a HUGE FUCKING AMOUNT of people in America need a vehicle to perform. Tear your eyes off of New York Fucking City, or Los Fucking Angeles, and take a look at the middle of the country. See all that space? People live there. People who own farms, or ranches, or just huge amounts of land that they need to work on. And they need a vehicle to work on those farms or ranches or acreage. This Jeep J8 would sell like hotcakes.

But we can't buy them. Nope, that's for them special people, not us commoners.

And they wonder why they're losing money hand over fist? Fuck them. If they're that damn stupid, they deserve to go out of business.

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