Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I am beginning to hate Modern America

And no, it's not because of the fact that a do-nothing socialist can now be a candidate for President of the USA. In a way I consider that a good thing, because it proves that the most idiotic piece of shit can aspire to the highest office in the country.

No, we're trying to buy a new stove for the house that we're purchasing this month. We need a new stove, since there isn't one in the house. Fine. Dandy. Let's get a new stove. We're pretty simple in our needs:

Four burners. Not the inline, glass covered crapola, but just four plain coil burners.

An oven, preferably self cleaning.

And last but not least, it needs to last. Which means that the less electrical gadgetry on it, the better. But guess what? All the newer ovens today are push button ovens. Which means that you have a friggin' computer panel right in the middle of a huge metal appliance that experiences huge changes in temperature and humidity on a DAILY BASIS! Guess how long THAT damn thing will last in my house? Sure, if you're the type of person that cooks once a week, it'll last forever. But if you actually use the stove to, oh, I don't know, COOK YOUR MEALS EVERY DAY, it won't last longer than a couple of years before it turns into crap!

What the fuck was wrong with having knobs on your stove? And why can't I find a single damn new stove or oven WITH knobs instead of this push-button crap? What the hell is wrong with America? Are we so mentally deficient that we have to push a button instead of turning a knob to the correct temperature? What the hell?

Anyone else see the movie WALL-E? That's what I see America turning into. A bunch of fat fucking idiots who live by punching buttons in a chair. And dammit, I might just find an old cast-iron wood burning stove and put it in my kitchen, because this computerized, won't last five years crap is pissing me the hell off. Some things do not need a computer in them. A stove/oven is one of those things. Dear lord, if you put some of these modern pansy shitheads in a house from twenty years ago, they would starve to death. "What? No push button? No Microwave? Oh, whatever will I do?" Fucking choke to death on your microwavable cup of soup, you asscannon. I'll bet that most of Modern America wouldn't be able to start a fire without a gallon of gasoline and a Bic lighter.

Bah. I know that I'm going to end up the cranky old fart in the woods, waving a shotgun at anyone who dares come on his land. But you know what? The more I see of modern society, the more I think that it's not that cranky old coot who's crazy, it's everybody else.

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