They were married in Islamic ceremonies in Egypt and Saudi Arabia and are awaiting permission from the authorities in Riyadh to make their marriage official.
By saying (with much sarcasm):
What's the hold up? Muslim theocratic intolerance? Nah.
Now let's get up to speed on this steamy internet romance:
LONDON — A British woman who married a son of Usama bin Laden says the couple is divorcing because of opposition from his family, The Sun newspaper reported Wednesday.
Oh, no fucking way! Who could have ever predicted this?!
Jane Felix-Browne, a 51-year-old grandmother from Moulton, a village in northwestern England, married Omar Bin Laden, 27, in both Egypt and Saudi Arabia in April. But Felix-Browne said, according to The Sun, that bin Laden's family members feel they have been humiliated. The newspaper quoted her as saying her husband had been threatened in a telephone call, but she did not identify the caller or give details about the threat. Omar was told he shouldn't be married to me, and there was a very good chance he would be taken to prison," The Sun quoted her as saying. "Omar knew who it was on the phone, but he wouldn't tell me. After the call he said he felt both our lives were in jeopardy. She could not be reached for comment Wednesday morning.
Time out. Let's help Nanna Jane out. IF there was a phone call, it went something like this:
Omar - "Death to infidels, this is Omar."
Ayman - "Omar! It's Ayman! Did you get the bomb vests I sent your kids?"
Omar - "Ayman! Yeah, we got them. Praise Allah!"
Ayman - "How's the plan to gain British citizenship?"
Omar - "Don't get me started! If I have to send that old imbicile one more text message, I'M going to use the bomb vest!"
Ayman - "Well then today is your lucky day! We figure, fuck it. It was worth a shot. You're off the hook."
Omar - "Merciful Allah! I owe you big time!"
Ayman - "Just tell her you got a death threat. Act really sad!"
Omar - "Thanks Ayman. Hey, how's Waziristan?"
Ayman - "We'll talk later."
Back to the proclamations of an imibicile:
"People are opposed to my marriage because I am British. I wasn't prepared to see the man I love die," she was quoted as saying.
And this woman has been muslim pickle-chugging since age 16? You're a convert, nanna! Tainted! It doesn't matter where you were hatched.
"It was a really, really good marriage, a strong marriage.
Was it strongest when you were instant-messaging, or when he was banging the mother of his children back in the desert?
But I cannot stand by and watch my beloved husband die before my very eyes.
Unless she has high-speed internet the web cam footage would have been all choppy, so it wouldn't have been all that traumtic to watch.
"The bin Laden family are afraid of the political implications of a British woman being married to the son of Usama bin Laden. They fear embarrassment and complications, not just in their own country but also in Britain and America," Felix-Browne was quoted as saying.
Marrying an imbicile - embarassing. Spawning THE global arch-terrorist - in all the scrapbooks! What could they possibly have to fear over their relationship in the US and UK? Smell the camel crap?
The Sun quoted Omar bin Laden also as saying "this marriage is now over. I don't want a divorce, but there are serious reasons for this breakup that I can't talk about. I adore being with this woman. But we can't stand up when the waves from the sea are coming to wipe us out."
That, and his other wife just wouldn't stop bitching about all the time he spent online.
No comments:
Post a Comment