Friday, March 21, 2014

So... ahem....

Apparently someone wrote a piece about the "sorrows" of monogamy.

What a load of crap.  Let me just excerpt a small part.

In Jones’s view, long-married humans confronting boredom have three basic coping “strategies” to choose among. Some spouses become “quashers,” resigning themselves to their sexless fate either bitterly or with frenetic, Facebook-posting cheer. “Sneakers” stalk old flames online.

(.....)

Unexpectedly, however, Jones reserves his most astutely acerbic commentary for the third group, marriage “restorers.” “Overachieving” restorer couples (according to him, there are no underachievers in this cohort) are typically “affluent, educated, successful, and highly motivated,” and they attack their sexual malaise as a project:

Look, folks - I speak as a monogamous man, happily married, who has been together with the same woman for over a decade:

As long as you work on keeping your marriage strong, the sex just gets better.

There are plenty of married folks out there who seem to think that once the ring is on the finger, all work towards improving the marriage or making yourself presentable to your spouse can end.  Those people are idiots, and it's no wonder they're bored with monogamy.  Then there are the general assholes, who look at marriage as a way to control the spouse.  Those people are also idiots.  Got it.  Great.

But if you put the same amount of effort into your marriage as you put into getting your spouse to marry you in the first place?  If you and your spouse constantly work to keep your relationship strong?

Mind.  Blowing.  Sex.  Peel-paint-off-the-walls sex.  Curl your toes and straighten your hair sex.  Make the neighbors call the cops due to the noise sex.

Just because I got married didn't mean that I stopped dating my wife.  We go on dates.  We watch movies together on the couch.  We do all the same things we did when we were dating and more.  And our sex life is better now than it's ever been.  Because we both care enough about each other not NOT take each other for granted.  We don't just expect that life will go on without any effort on our part.  And as we've grown in our relationship and our love for each other, we've found out even more about what makes each other tick, and what trips our triggers. 

Monogamy is not boring.  If you're bored with monogamy, you're bored with your relationship, and that's a signal that there are huge problems in your marriage.  It's not the sex that's bad, it's your marriage.

1 comment:

Gerry N. said...

RD, Da Missus and I've been hitched since the middle of 1968 and in my experience you are dead on. My attitude has been and still is, why go out for a cheap, dry burger when I have a perfect filet mignon at home?