Monday, April 05, 2004

Guess what today is?

It's the tenth anniversary of the day when drugged-out wannabe rockers all cried. The day Kurt Cobain blew his heroin addicted brains across his bedroom walls.

Living in Seattle, Cobain is a local hero. And judging from many of the people who live here, they try to emulate everything about him. Including his drug habits.

Look, I admire Nirvana for helping break the crappy bubblegum pop/Madonna/NewKidsOnTheBlock/shitty techno music scene. If I had to watch some coached teenybopper sing yet another song that someone else has written, played by someone else with a Casio keyboard, directed by someone else, choreographed by someone else, I would have taken my hi-hats and rammed it up their asses. So I'm happy that Nirvana hit the scene when they did. I'm also happy that other, better bands followed them. Admire Cobain for what he did, sure, but FOR G-D'S SAKE, stop referring to him as some great music god! He wasn't even that great a guitarist, unless you think power chords are the end all-be all of music! His vocals sounded like a large dog with it's balls caught in a meat grinder, and you can't understand half of what he says! That's not surprising, since the man would do any drug you put in front of him. He was unintelligible for half his life, why should he change on stage? And speaking of not changing, that's another great aspect of Mr. Cobain. He almost never changed his clothes. He barely changed his shoes. Hell, you were lucky if he took a frigging shower, as he was in some drugged out haze for too long to bother with a stupid thing like personal hygiene.

And the rest of his band was left out in the cold after he died. What, people think that this scuzzy, drug sucking, unbathed, powerchord limited, mumblemouthed loser was the only reason that Nirvana existed? Dave Grohl has more talent in his left pinky than Cobain had in his entire body, but it was like people just don't care. "Oh, Kurt's dead, my world is ending!" How sad is it that you have entire legions of fans who's entire world is made up of some self-involved druggie?

You want to know how fucked up Cobain was? Two words: Courtney Love.

So yay, it's the tenth anniversary of Cobain's death. Where the hell is the outpouring for Layne Staley? At least you could understand what the hell he was singing about! But maybe that's the problem. Staley left no doubt as to the message he was trying to get across. With Cobain, you could have all the little dopers in their own little worlds thinking "Oh, gee, I can't understand a single word, he must be singing about something real deep, just like me!" Of course, when you're whacked out on heroin or crank, "real deep" means "That fly is making tie-dye circles on the wall, man! Gimmie another eight-ball!" What a crock.

So great, Nirvana allowed other bands to get into the mainstream. But guess what - many of those bands are still around. Some have broken up, but the members are with new groups, putting out some kick-ass music. Audioslave, anyone? Once Rage Against My Allowance got dumped by their frontman (Yeah, how's that solo career going, Zach?) they hooked up with Chris Cornell of Soundgarden and they're putting out songs that make me crank my truck's system to "almost-popping-the-speakers" levels. You can find kick ass music everywhere you look, and who are people still pining for? The drugged out loser. Alice In Chains is done, but people are still crying about how "Courtney killed Kurt!". Wah. Shut the f**k up and put the bong down, you worthless little snots!

I live in a town of Kurt Cobain worship, people. And it's rather pathetic. This town is still trying to pretend that it's in the "Glory Days" of it's music scene, all the while ignoring that it has killed the things that made the music of a decade ago good. As soon as the good bands got noticed, this town sold out faster than a ten dollar whore on payday. Why do you think that there haven't been any more Pearl Jams, or Soundgardens, or AIC, or even another Nirvana coming out of Seattle recently? Because they sold out, they sucked up the dollars that were laid out by the corporate music goons, and now they cry for a dead drugged out loser who hated his life. Try to find an original rock act in this town today, and you're shit out of luck. It's dead. C'mon, Modest Mouse? Nuh uh, they're not cutting it. Here's a clue to the people in Seattle - Kurt Cobain was able to be a drugged out loser screaming trash into a microphone while playing straight powerchords because he had TWO DAMN TALENTED PEOPLE BACKING HIM. You cannot have an entire band of drugged out losers screaming trash into a microphone while playing nothing but powerchords and expect it to work. There is only room for ONE Cobain wannabe in a band, and that's only if you have enough talent to carry him along. Emotion alone does not make a band work.

So now I expect to get a load of grief from some Cobain worshipper. So be it. I'm sick of seeing this man hailed as some sort of rock god. Get a clue, people. Stop whining and crying about this man.

There are so many better people out there. You don't need that guy.

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