Thursday, March 05, 2020

ERMAHGERD! CERONERVERUS!

How to tell if you have the corona virus!  Your eyes leak out of your skull!  Your brain jumps out of your head and crawls away!  You can see the actual live virus legions marching in waves across the floor to attack and infect other people!  WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!


Symptoms of the coronavirus - fever, cough, runny nose - are similar to those of the common cold or the flu.


(record scratch).

Folks, the hysteria over this whole thing is just one massive load of bullshit.  Some people might die.  They die from the flu every single year.  In fact, thousands of people die from the flu every year.  One of the guys in my office just took his kid to the hospital and found out he had pneumonia.  That happens too.  There is no reason to freak out about this.

And for the love of God, stop buying every single roll of toilet paper within a 25 mile radius.

2 comments:

dave drake said...

"stop buying every single roll of toilet paper within a 25 mile radius."
No sh*T and no pun intended. Panic and hysteria will hurt us far more than the virus.

Ragin' Dave said...

And the panic is self-feeding. If everybody is buying up TP, then the people who aren't start to wonder if they should buy it all as well, and then it just goes downhill from there.

We get most of our TP from Canada anyways, not China. We will be fine.