Dear drivers in Mississippi

I want you to do something for me.  Take your left hand.  Place it on the steering wheel.  Slide your hand up or down until you're at the "9 o'clock" position.  Got it there?  Great.  Now extend your fingers.  Feel that little thing there?  That knob sticking out of the steering column?  That little knob there is how you activate your turn signals.

What are these mysterious turn signals, you ask?  They're lights that blink on one side of the car or another, depending on which way you move that knob, that lets other drivers know which way you want to go, so that we can get the *&^@ out of the way.  I know, right?  It's like magic!

To use these magical turn signals, all you have to do is move the knob up for Right, or down for Left.  Yes, all cars have them.  Trucks have them.  Even motorcycles have them.  I know, it's mind blowing.  Given that you've never extended a finger on your left hand and discovered this magical, mysterious knob prior to now, you might never have experienced the use of a turn signal before.  Based on what I can tell, you never knew that such a fantastical creation existed on your vehicle, but I'm here to tell you that the turn signal has been in use on vehicles for decades.  And you can use them!

So the next time you want to careen across four lanes of traffic to your exit while blaring rap music, weed smoke blowing out your windows like a San Francisco fog, just make sure to use that other-worldly device known as the turn signal, and that way I can avoid almost getting turned into road pizza, m'kay?

And that goes for the rest of you people in Mississippi.  Holy hell people, the technology was in use when my father was learning to drive.  Maybe try to keep up with the times?