Everywhere I've lived, there are drivers who you just learn to avoid. You see them coming, you turn. You make sure you have the right of way, because you know for certain these self-absorbed, narcissistic assholes don't give a shit about anything but themselves and whatever their phones are saying right at that moment.
In Seattle, it was BMW and Volvo drivers.
In Los Angeles, it was white Mercedes (especially with a Mediterranean-looking woman behind the wheel), and, of course, BMW drivers.
In Richmond, it was any red vehicle being driven by a black woman (the larger the woman, the worse the driver). And BMW drivers.
In Mississippi it was pretty much everybody, but the worst drivers were the ones driving late-model sedans with 22-inch rims. And BMW drivers.
Now that I'm in Salt Lake City? It's a whole slew of people, but the ones who stand out for their jaw-dropping moments of fuckwittery are Subaru drivers and BMW drivers.
Notice a trend?
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? With a porcupine, the prick is on the outside.
This post may or may not have anything to do with my current commute. And yes, the moment I see you driving a BMW, I know you're a fucktard.
3 comments:
Subaru Outbacks. There are more gahdam Subarus here than anywhere I've ever been. All driven by a onion head hat wearing, columbia/north face gear sportin' npr listenin' while they vape bullshit, I-gotta-get-to-Starbucks-before-my-gender-studies-lecture, sabin the planet 1 gallon at a time, 15 mph below everyone else, vegan lifestyle sticker "woke" but still asleep moron. They're virtually indestructable rigs that last a lifetime but the owners are the embodiment of all that's inherently wrong in society today. After 25 years on Alaskan 2 lane roads, I've determined if you're hung up in a line of traffic, it's a very safe wager the cause is the tool in an Outback.
We used to drive a Subaru Outback. Great vehicle. We pushed it to it's limits, and it just worked. However, after seeing how Subaru drivers act here in SLC, I'm kind of glad we traded it in for a truck, because I don't want to be associated with those jerks.
They are almost bulletproof. Hell, I tried talking my mom into getting one. But the stigma, man.....the stigma!
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