Sunday, June 06, 2010

Grand Prairie, Texas

Hot.  Humid.  And the air is brown.  I can deal with the hot and humid.  Not the brown air.  Can't breathe during a run.  That flat out sucks.  By the way, the base I'm on isn't a base.  I don't quite know what it is, but it ain't a base.  I'm sitting in a Starbucks logged on, since there is no internet access on "base".

Had to make a trip to Wal Mart to buy sunscreen and bug spray.  Had flashbacks to Puerto Rico, as I didn't hear a word of English once I passed the greeter.

You want to see fat people?  Wal Mart, baby.  I'm talking the earth-shaking fat.  So fat they have their own gravitational field.  So fat they take up an entire row all on their own.  Rolls upon rolls of fat.  Either that, or they're greasy, dirty, haven't showered, stink to high heaven, and are wearing wife-beater T-Shirts.  If I were from Texas, I'd try to disown Grand Prairie.  I really would.  Walking around here is the greatest motivator for weight loss that I can think of.  "OH GOD, I NEVER WANT TO LOOK LIKE THAT!!!!!  HELP ME JENNIE CRAIG!!!!"

And most of them are Mexican.  I keep hearing about fat Americans.  But the fat people here don't speak English.  Does anyone else have a problem with that?

I've seen more pimped out SUV's than I care to count.  You want to know what I call an SUV with low-profile tires, chromed out rims and shiney paint?  A compensation mobile.  They have a very tiny penis, and they try to make up for it with a big, flashy vehicle.  Men, if you have a truck or an SUV, and it doesn't have dirt or signs of actual use, I am going to make fun of you.  Don't like it?  Then get that vehicle dirty.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'm out of here.  See you in two weeks or so.

2 comments:

DANEgerus said...

happy D-Day... the biggest of the amphibious operations and a totally Army affair.

dick said...

Dave,
Check your email.
I'm 5 miles North of you.

Dick