Day by Day

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Better living through spicy food

So, I'm sick. And the wife, living with me as wives do, is also getting sick. Not from my looks, you weirdos, from the damn virus that's floating around.

Anyways, I'm a big fan of eating healthy in order to kill a cold. So's the Raging Mrs. In fact, she's the one who taught me about burning viruses out of my body with spicy food.

So tonight, I made a spicy peanut stir-fry, with enough onion, garlic and chili pepper to make normal people shriek and run away. Any virus that's floating around in my body is hopefully burning to death in a painful, horrible, demonic fashion. Burn, virus, burn. If I could find a way to cause a virus pain, I would do it. If there were scientific proof that dragging my ass over a mile of broken glass would cause the virus in my body to shriek in agony for hours on end, I would buy stock in bandages and drag my ass over that mile.

Yeah. I'd do the same for most congresscritters as well. Seriously. "Oh, what, smashing my fingers with that hammer causes Senator Feinstein to be knocked unconscious? Really? Pass me the ball-peen and the asprin!" ****WHACK**** "OWOWOWOWOW DIEYOUSTUPIDBITCH OWOWOWOW!"

Yeah. I'm sick like that. I also happen to believe that communists and socialists need to be publicly flogged as a lesson for everyone else.

Anyways, I'm still a snot factory, but I'm hoping to feel well enough tomorrow to go for a run. Or at least a walk, with the dog. I don't know. I'm tired of being sick. I hate being sick. Some people get their kicks off of sitting in their house all day. I can't stand it. I can't stand being on the couch for this long. I've been vegitating, trying to get healthy, eating good, taking my vitamins, doing what I can to kill the cold and get back to being my normal upright being.

Gah. I'll give you an update tomorrow. In the meantime, if someone could give me scientific proof that whipping my testicles with a wet noodle would drop an anvil on Senator Reid's head, please let me know, because that worthless sack of jelly needs it. I think that Reid is proof that even if you have no morals, no ethics, no spine, no integrity, no brain, and no real skills in life, you can still obtain a position of power and wealth. Leftists of the words, rejoice!

Or not.

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