Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Oh, and by the way...

Sharon Stone - if I ever wanted any more proof that Hollywood is so far removed from reality that it would take the gravitational force of a black hole to bring it back within range, your comments about Hillary Clinton are perfect.

Stone says, "I think Hillary Clinton is fantastic. But I think it is too soon for her to run. This may sound odd, but a woman should be past her sexuality when she runs. Hillary still has sexual power, and I don't think people will accept that. It's too threatening."


OK, all you gentle folks, scroll down to the next post if you can't handle strong language, because I'm gonna be rude, crude, and blunt. I ain't gonna be pleasant.

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All you not-so-gentle types still here? Good.

We can prove that Hillary Clinton had sex one time, and one time only. Looking at Hillary, there's probably a good debate as to whether she actually had enjoyable sex or was simply inseminated like a farm animal, sort of like "Take one for the team, Hill!" However, I have a good theory that her leathery, acidic labia were sewn up right after Chelsea was born, and she hasn't put out one single bit of poon since then. Let's face it - Bill didn't get a hummer from a fat intern because he was satisfied with his love life, OK? The thought of Hillary having sex is rather repulsive, almost vomit inducing, like when I was 12 and realized that my parents still had sex. Nowadays I high five Dad and give him a little wink-wink-nudge-nudge you old dog you act, but at the age of 12 it was a rather disturbing revelation. My disgust with Hillary hasn't faded however, and I can't imagine anyone or anything cuddling up to that power-hungry model of Leftist values.

You've heard of Coyote Ugly? No, not the bar, the condition of finding yourself in bed with a woman resting her head on your arm who's so damn ugly you'd rather chew your arm off rather than pull away and wake her up. Hillary is beyond coyote ugly, folks. That hag stirs interest of only the most lunatic sort, as her tirades through the years and the people who respond to them have proven. I suppose if a shrill, bitter bitch with a pussy like week-old dead fish is your thing, then Hillary would fit your bill. But even if her championing of a failed ideology didn't turn me off straitaway, if her total lust for power at the detriment of everything else didn't set me off, the thought of cuddling up to that man-hating used up hag makes me want to approach her only after donning a full set of riot gear, complete with baton and riot shield.

Those waves you see coming off of Hillary Clinton isn't sex appeal, it's the stench of communism and the aroma of the complete lack of moral values, coupled with the need to enforce her will on everyone else, enhanced by elitism that even John Kerry could envy. The only thing that gives Hillary that 'ol funny feeling is the thought of America turned into her communist shithole dream state, with her on top directing us plebes on how to do her bidding.

She makes me vomit. Clinton has no sex appeal. Neither of them. A former coke-head buffoon more interested in blow jobs than national security, and a woman with a face like a two-month old lemon. Yeah, I can see how you could mistake that for "sex appeal".

Well no, no, I couldn't see that. Nevermind.

And Sharon Stone? Lessee here, a woman who's famous for her tits and flashing her pussy on the big screen. Yay. Here's a hint Sharon - there are women better looking than you, even with all that plastic surgery you've had. And there are women who's pussies haven't been rented out like a Singapore whore during fleet week. When I want political advice, I will not go to a woman who's only claim to fame is that she flashed her bearded clam during a scene in a bad movie. Somehow I think I put the opinions of actual educated people such as her or her or her or her well ahead of the opinions that spew forth from some slutty Hollywood cocktease.

Shut the hell up and act, Sharon. Thinking isn't your strong suit. Come to think of it, acting isn't your strong suit either, as anyone who's seen a recent movie of yours can attest to, but at least you're better at letting people put words in your mouth than coming up with your own.

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