Oh, you have GOT to be kidding!

So the Democrats, the party of whiny spoiled bitches, hasn't conceded yet.

What a surprise.

The crybabies can't do simple math or logic, otherwise they would know that they lost. But I heard John "Faster than a speeding Ambulace" Edwards on TV last night, yelling "WE'RE GONNA COUNT EVERY VOTE!" so I figure they found some bums who would fill out provisional ballots in exchange for a few cigarettes and a fifth of Rebel Yell. I'm betting that at least ONE of those bums holding up the "PLEASEHELP HOMELESSVET WITHKIDS GODBLESS signs really is a Viet Nam vet though, and that's gonna make things interesting.

Democrat Shitheel: "Here ya go, Mr.... uh.... Smith. Just fill in that oval next to John Kerry's name and you get the whole bottle!"

Bum: I need a drink to dull the pain firsht.

Democrat Shitheel: "No, you can't have the bottle yet. What pain could you have, you're about to vote Democrat, just like your father!

Bum: My dad's been dead for yearsh...

Democrat Shitheel: And he's been a faithful voter for us that long too. Great guy, your dad. You need to fill in that oval right th.... no, no, that one right the.... dammit, right there!"

Bum: Hey, why won' John Kerry releash his recordsh? Whash he got to hide?

Democrat Shitheel: Uhhhhh......

Bum: An washup with dat wife of his, anyway? Who the hell unlocked the cage on THAT harpy?

Democrat shitheel: Look, are you going to fill in the oval or not?

Bum: You know wha? Keep yer damn bottle. I may be a bum, but I shtill got my pride. And THISH! (whips out silver star and two REAL purple hearts)

Democrat Shitheel: "Damn, you really ARE a Viet Nam vet? Well fuck you then, ya bum! We'll find someone else!"

Bum: (as Democrat shitheel walks out of alley) WHY WON'T HE SHIGN HIS 180 FORM????

Maybe that's the problem that Kerry/Edwards is having. They can't find enough bums who are willing to sacrifice what dignity they have left in order to vote Democrat. As it is, I'm betting that a big chunk of the Cincy graveyards have a ballot with the (D) checked off. Same with Cleveland. Still, right now it looks as if Bush is going to win Ohio (once the bums drive off the Democrat pollsters), New Mexico and Nevada, which puts him firmly in the winners seat. He already has a three point lead in the popular vote, something that can't be overcome by Kerry.

So Kerry is going to drag it out, all for what? For nothing. Because he's a deluded narcissistic ego-maniacal shithead who can't believe he lost. I can't believe that he came this close, but that's just me. The upside of this is that the longer he drags it out despite all the evidence against him, the more people will see that he and his party are nothing but shallow, power hungry assholes.

Who also lost seats in the Senate and the House. BOOYAH!

I hope you're in pain, Kerry. Lots of it. I hope your little tin-pot world just came crashing down around your ears. I hope you're curled up in your Boston house with Al Franken stroking your hair, whispering "You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!" while you sob into TerAYzuhs dress like the little nancyboy you are. You lost, Kerry. You and the Ambulance Chaser lost. Now get the fuck out of my government and shut the hell up, you bitch.

When Kerry concedes, I'm gonna be tap-dancing.