The Capitalist Lion (in Noo Yawk Ciddy) has put up a list of things that every man should do at least once. Upon reading said list, Kim du Toit had to come up with his own. Me, I'm in the middle of the two of them. I can't completly agree with Mr. Lion, because part of his list is "Visit New York City, admit all other cities suck by comparison." Excuse me? I've been to NYC, thankyouverymuch. And I didn't like it. I prefer Boston over NYC any day of the week. I know that some people love it, and it's just SO BIG and it's the CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS but I found it to be dirty, messy, smelly, rude, obnoxious, and rather cold in demeanor. Granted it's not on my "worst cities" list, but sometimes I think that all New Yorkers have a meglomania complex.
And Kim's list? First he states that he hates motorcycles. That automatically knocks him down a few pegs in my book. He also states that he doesn't like Tough Chicks, which made the Raging Girlfrind break things outside the house for about half an hour. So he's started out on the wrong foot already. However, he does get a lot of things right -
2. Teach a kid to shoot. (did it)
3. Cook a meal out in the open (and I don't mean a backyard BBQ). (did that too)
Kim takes a dive on this one, though:
6. Visit at least eight countries outside your own continent, none of which speak your home language.
Sorry Kim, but I haven't even visited all fifty STATES yet, and you want me to take off for a different continent? Ummmmmmm.... no. I've traveled outside the country before and I've been in places where I couldn't speak the language or read the signs, but right now I have better things to do with my money. Traveling the states is one of them. I want to take I-90 from Seattle to Boston, then head down to Florida, head West to California, and then back up through Seattle to the Canadian border, where I catch the Yukon Highway and head straight up to Alaska. I want to make sure that I visit the states I haven't seen yet. Maine, Vermont, Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Alaska. Oh, and Kim? I'm gonna do it all on MOTORCYCLE!
Once I've done that, then I can worry about traveling to Europe and Asia.
Kim swerves back into respectability after that brief lapse, though.
15. Watch at least one real virtuoso play a musical instrument -- in any kind of music. (I've seen Eric Clapton, Itzhak Perlman, and Stephane Grappelli perform, and watched both Solti and Barenboim conduct the Chicago Symphony. Pretty humbling.) (Lionel Hampton, Jazzfest, 1993. unreal is about the only way to describe it.)
16. Perform on stage (music, theater, whatever), to a large (500+) audience. (check, both acting and in a band.)
17. Play at least one musical instrument competently. (drums, although I used to be able to count piano with it. I sing, does that count?)
18. Make love to a woman at least ten years older than you are. (I was 24, she was 39. And she was hot as a firecracker.)
19. Tell a government bureaucrat to fuck off. (Normally preceeded by "You want HOW MUCH in taxes?)
20. And finally: tell a true story to your grandchildren. Don't have any. Probably won't have any, much to the relief of most people who know me. The last thing they want is little Raging Dave's running around.
So go check the lists out, and tell me what you think. What would you change? What would you keep? Should I make my own list? Maybe compile it from suggestions gleaned from the commnets?
No comments:
Post a Comment