Sunday, December 21, 2003



Acidman has a post up about "the homeless", that kinda resonates with me.

I've gone over Seattle's homeless problem before, and Analog Kid has had his fill of the feel-good, "We need to help the homeless" bullshit as well. Anyways, Acidman describes an encounter with one of those "Will work for food" people. This is how it turned out:

The Savannah police arrested the guy for some minor offense a week or so later and the truth came out. He was fleecing compassionate people for almost $500 per week running his con and he NEVER WORKED FOR FOOD.

Drive through downtown Seattle, and there's one of these jokers at every damned off-ramp on the I-5 corridor. My buddy Roy has a grading scale for their signs, depending on content, spelling, and how dirty the bums made themselves look. The words "God Bless", "Children", "lost job", and "need any help" are worth bonus points, especially if they're spelled wrong. I've seen these jokers pile out of a van and stand on their corners. They take shifts, and I've watch the shift change. They're con men (and women), who enjoy standing on a corner more than working a real job. You know what? Fuck them. They aren't getting a damn penny out of me.

I used to live in downtown Seattle (Belltown, for those who are curious) and trust me, if you want to find someone intoxicated on some drug or another, just head downtown. I was in the heart of Bum Central. I can't count the number of times I was hassled for money as I walked to work, or back home. I'd go down to Pike Place Market, and get hit up for money an average of six times each way. I always said "I can't give you money, but if you're hungry I can buy you lunch/dinner/breakfast/a snack." I was taken up on that offer a total of TWO times. I lived in Belltown for six months. That's six months of hassle, six months of people trying to bum money off of me, six months and countless totals of beggers, bums, and ne'rdowells trying to fleece me out of my cash, but only TWO people who actually wanted something to eat. You would think that someone with a "Will work for food" sign would want something hot to eat, right? Hell, when one guy actually said yes, I went to an Ivar's (a local seafood joint) and picked up the biggest lunch special they had, and brought it back to him. About eight dollars worth of food, because he actually WANTED FOOD. Everyone else was just bullshitting. "Naw, man, jes gimmie fitty cents." "Naw man, don't do that, jus gimmie da money." "Naw man, I just want a quarter or somefen." Fuck you, bum. Either you're hungry, or you're trying to buy booze and drugs. I'll help a man eat, but get high on your own fucking dime, not mine.

Think about all the organizations that are willing to help people. United Way. The Salvation Army. St. Vincent de Paul's. I've donated to quite a few groups who's sole purpose is to help people get back on their feet. St. Vinnie's in Coeur d' Alene has a program that gives you a place to stay, an address, three hots and a cot, and all they ask is A) no drugs or alcohol, and B) work an hour a day in their store. That's it. You can come in wearing nothing but a tattered pair of pants, and they'll help you clean up, give you clothes, food, a bed, and an address so that you can get a job. All they want is an hour a day, and you remaining sober. They don't get many takers. The bums find out that they need to stay sober in order to stay at St. Vinnie's, and they walk out. They don't want a job, they don't want help, they just want to use the system and stay drunk as long as possible. I won't have any part of it. You want to get drunk/stoned/high/tweaked/fried/baked, you can do it in a roadside gutter. People who actually need help can get help. People who want to raise themselves up can do so. I know people who had nothing, literally. No car, no housing, no ANYTHING, and with a little help from places like St. Vinnie's they were able to get a job, then a house or apartment, then a car, and they kept on going. But they aren't the ones you see on the street. They aren't the ones begging at the street corner, folks. Those street-corner sad sacks are nothing but scammer bums, and cons. They aren't getting a damn cent from me.

UPDATE: I realized another reason why these bums piss me off so bad. They come up, literally in your face, reeking of booze, pot, meth, and everything else, and breathe their alcohol soaked breath right in your face as they beg for money. "Can you hep me out, man? I ain't eaten in days." Well NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! Judging from your breath, you've been drinking shitty rotgut for weeks! Try Listerine, it'll get you drunk and it won't make me want to PUKE when you invade my personal space! Why the hell do these people think that I WANT to shake their hands? Why do they think it's OK to lean into within one inch of my face and demand cash? If you want to drink Mad Dog 20/20 and piss on yourself while you lay passed out in a public park paid for with my taxes, that's YOUR business. Once you invade my space, then it becomes MY problem, and I have enough problems as it is.

It's bad enough that I have to pick up all your damn empty bottles and cans around my place of employment, but then you want me to give you money so you can do it all over again? Go play in traffic.

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