Friday, February 28, 2014

25 Signs You've Grown Up

Stolen from here.  List is below, with my comments.

1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can’t smoke a one of them.  (Never did smoke my potted plants)
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.  (Posh.  Have sex where ever you can)
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.  (Crap)
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.  (Crap!)
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.  (Crap crap!)
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.  (Nope.  I look outside)
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.  (CRAP!)
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.  (Um.....  crap.)
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as ‘dressed up.’  (Nope, they still do!)
10. You’re the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.  (CRAPPITY CRAP!)

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.  (Ewwwwww......  crap.)
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.  (Taco Bell closes?)
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.  (Yeeeeaaaaah....  crap.)
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s.  (Blue Wilderness, actually.  Wait.  Crap.)
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.  (Nope, I have a rockin' couch.)
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.  (Zzzzzz....  CRAP!)
17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one.  (Dinner AND a movie?  Crap!)
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.  (Cra...  *ralph*  ap.)
19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.  (And Tiger Balm.  CRAP!)
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer ‘pretty good stuff.’  (I do home vinting.  HA!)
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.  (Define "breakfast", because Bacon is for every meal....)
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”  (Hell, I said that back in my 20's.  Aww, crap)
23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.  (CRAAAAAAP!)
24. You don’t drink at home to save money before going to a bar.  (I don't really go to bars.  Never did.  Just my thing.)
25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn’t apply to you! 

I guess I'm not all the way grown up yet!  Yay me!

1 comment:

Crotalus said...

"You look for one sign that doesn't apply to you."

CRAAAP!!! DOUBLE CRAPPITY CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!!!!

I'm doomed!