Monday, November 04, 2013

Cooch de Sarlac

The Ragin' Mrs injured herself while exercising, and she's been on crutches for a little while.  Tonight, we were doing some grocery shopping and a lady who was walking perpendicular to us made eye contact with the Ragin' Mrs, then sped up and tried to cross in front of us.  Normally not a big deal, except that she didn't cross fast enough, and the tip of the Mrs' crutch came down smack dab on the rear of this woman's flip-flop, which came off her foot with a loud *POP*.  It caused the Mrs to stagger a bit until she could regain her balance.

But what really got to me was the fact that the slow-crossing woman threw a bitch-hate glare at my wife before grabbing her sandal and going on her way.

Listen, you self-righteous bitch:  Either slow down and allow my injured wife to pass, or speed up and get the fuck out of our way.  My wife can't stop on a dime.  Nor can she speed up without turning into a pole-vaulter down the store isle. My wife didn't try to get your sandal with the tip of her crutch, she just wants to get to the checkout isle.  So quit your bitchier-than-thou attitude and get the fuck out of our way!

I told the Ragin' Mrs. that the bitch probably needed a good fucking, but no guy in his right mind would touch that woman, given that based on her attitude, her cooch has the strong possibility of possessing the various attributes of a snapping turtle.

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