The Olympic Games are on

And I don't have a TV. You know what? After watching the opening ceremonies at lodging, I really don't know if I'll miss it. Did anyone else catch that show on whatever station was broadcasting it? The director was either doing drugs, or needs to be fired pronto. They would have this wonderful panoramic shot of all the performers, and then they would close in for some ungodly close-up shot of a Chinese guy in his costume. The performance was meant to be viewed from above and from afar, not up close! You would have this great shot of the people in the light-up costumes, and when viewed properly it was breath-taking. I don't much care for the Chi-coms, but whoever was in charge of this thing did it damn well. UNTIL..... the dipshit in the director's chair decided that a close-up of a single performer lit up like a Christmas tree would be better than the actual entire show.

I do not need to see a close-up of a Chi-com with LED lights on his wanger, thanks very much, go kill yourself for being such a moron, mmkay? For Pete's sake, the performers could have been giving a one-of-a-kind show, and I missed it because the drug-soaked idiot in charge of the cameras wants to give me a shot of some single performer's FREAKING FEET! Put the bong down, you shit-for-brains asshole! Pull the camera back! You turned a good show into a miserable experience!

Oh, and the commercials during the Parade of Athletes. Matt Lauer and Bob Costas blathering away for thirty seconds, followed by two minutes of commercials. "And here's the tiny island nation of Tututu, wearing constumes representing the penis of their monarch, King Schlongalong! You know, they worship their king's phallus, Matt! Now let's take a quick break for commercials!"

*****two minutes of Raging Dave beating himself unconscious with a beer bottle*******

"And we're back, as the Australians enter this magnificent arena! Aren't their dusters magnificent, Matt? Now let's take a quick commercial break!"

*****two more minutes of Raging Dave trying to kill himself with an ottoman*****

After a while, I just turned it to a different channel, and I would click back over to see when the Americans were entering. And oh, by the way, how did everyone love the sheer, Soviet-style military showing of the flag raising? You could almost hear Joseph Stalin screaming from his grave "DA! DA, COMRADE!" I thought the goose-stepping while carrying the Olympic freaking flag was a rather nice touch.

Blah.

Anyways, I guess I'll have to read all about the games in the newspaper for a little while. Ah well. That's life.