I know how he feels

Dok Russia had that special kind of night that makes hospital employees the most cynical bastards on the face of the earth.

I generally do not mind people screwing their own lives up. It is still a free country (for the most part). If you want to destroy your liver with alcohol, and fry your nose and brain on coke, then I don't care. I really don't. At least I wouldn't if you would at least have the decency to pay for the resuscitation that is going to be required when your habit makes your heart lock up on your 27th birthday like an engine that you forgot to put oil into for the past twenty thousand miles. Still, I can generally laugh and point and make fun of the people who think that they are too special to get hooked on drugs, and then finds themselves giving blowjobs for a $5 chunk of rock.

But I am ready to start slitting throats when your bad habits condemn innocent kids to Fetal alcohol syndrome, prematurity, addiction in utero and all of those other things that set up another, innnocent human being for a very tough life before they even get a chance to draw their first gasp of air. I was standing there, looking at this disease-ridden, alcoholic cokehead, who refused to get sterilized, and wanted to take that pillow and smother her face with it. I know that as doctors we are suppossed to have some sort of superhuman patience and acceptance of our fellow man.

Sorry, but No. I do not have, nor do I want, the patience and acceptance to ever find something like that anything but revolting and disgusting. No. I will not ever, ever look at behavior like that and just let it pass with the whole "none of us are perfect"/ "we are all God's children"/ "who am I to judge?" platitudes, or any crap like that. There is a fucking world of difference between being flawed and fucking over your own children because you are too selfish to either get off the booze and drugs, or stop being a slut.

Anyway, I resisted the impulse to smash her face in with a defibrillator, and did my job.

Some people have asked me why I seem like such a heartless bastard. Folks, I have pity on those who truly need help. But when you screw over yourself, you're on your own. And these people don't just screw themselves, they screw EVERYBODY over with their actions.

And then they whine and bitch when they don't get their way for the hundredth time. Piss on 'em. I'd rather clean their corpses out of the street than pay for another antibiotic for their next STD.