Me: I'm not a Southern man. Too hot. Want to move up North.
US Army: LOLROFL HOLD MY BEER!
Sergeant Major: Dave, we need you to move.
Sergeant Major: We have a position in a command coming empty, and you have to fill it.
Sergeant Major: It's in Mississippi.
US Army: HAHAHAHAHAHAMOVEUPNORTHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Me: ^%$#^&*!!!! %$#@*(^%!!!!! ^&%^$%#$@#!!!!!!
Dammit, I haven't even gotten around to all the good things about Richmond yet!
Ah well, this is the life I signed up for.