Field Training Exercise. That's where I'll be all weekend, starting tomorrow at 0600. But fear not! Dane and Steve B have arrived to save the day!
Guys, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
I'm going to be neck deep in mud, muck, and insects that want to bite me, sting me or drain some bodily fluid from me. Ah, the joys of Puerto Rico. What makes it worse is that there's some sort of competition going on at the training base involving teenagers from all over the Caribbean. So we cannot use any part of the proper base.
Ranges? Nope. Land Nav area? Nope. DEFAC? Nope. Medic station? Nope, it's shut down for this weekend. Water point? NOPE! We have to go off base to find a place to fill our water trailers.
We get to stay and train on one tiny little training area right after the main gate. Which happens to be a wetland area. And it's been raining like crazy.
What makes this worse is the fact that this whole deal was cooked up two weeks ago by my Battalion CO, in an attempt to try to impress the higher command. In the meantime, due to the fact that this is all on short notice we have no medical support, and three water trailers when we should have five. The Battalion did not even have a training plan until my company gave them one. Hey there Battalion Commander, what are all the other companies in the battalion going to do for training? What, you don't know? You have no clue? You don't even have a training plan three days before we're all supposed to report to do this FTX? An FTX you're demanding we all participate in?
Folks, when a company has to give their higher headquarters the Battalion's training plan, this is a bad thing. I'm not talking about us giving the battalion our company training plan, I'm talking about giving the battalion their plan detailing what the battalion is going to do! COMPANIES SHOULD NOT BE TELLING THEIR BATTALIONS WHAT THE HELL TO DO DURING AN FTX!
At this point I'd go on a screaming fit of the heebie-jeebies, but it wouldn't do much good. THIS IS NOT THE US ARMY DOWN HERE. If I had my druthers, I would force everyone down here to remove the US flag off of their uniform, because calling this gaggle-fuck operation the US Army in an insult to every other US Soldier around the world. Call it the Puerto Rican Army, call it Pancho Villa's Army, call it the Policia del Keystone, I don't care. But for the love of God, do not under any circumstances ever allude to the possibility that this clusterfuck has anything to do with my beloved Army of the United States of America.
Anyways, I'll be out dealing with this disaster for the next four days. Dane and Steve B can hold down the fort. I'll see you all on Monday, if I don't strangle some stupid son-of-a-bitch and get sent to jail.