Dear Brits who care: I'm sorry about Meghan Markle

I truly am.  But I wasn't in any position to give advice, otherwise I would have grabbed Harry by the ear, pulled him into a dark ally and told him to run away from the 2nd-rate Hollywood Whore as fast as possible.

No, what Meghan has done is drag with her, across the Atlantic, a garbage truck full of the most emetic US wokeness and deposited it on our front lawns. She has brought with her the infantile identity politics of Hollywood and US campuses, with all its non sequiturs, its bizarre obsessions, its mutual contradictions and its self-evident hypocrisies. The politics of Taylor Swift and Robert Downey Jr. The sort of stuff which, in the end, convinced your people to vote for Donald Trump, as a kind of blessed relief, a form of deliverance.

I was told by a traveler of my acquaintance that Meghan Markle was somewhat popular across the pond, but that was some time ago and things may have changed.  Nevertheless, should Harry tire of schtupping a washed-up actress with all the morals and principles that Hollywood is famous for, I can only say "Sorry, you bought it, you keep it."

We don't want her back.