Exfoliation

 I'd like to thank all the truck drivers hauling open loads of dirt and rock that don't secure or cover their loads.  I greatly enjoyed having my face exfoliated by all the dirt and rocks that you spewed all over the road, much like how the crew from Jersey Shore spewed genital herpes all over the beach whenever they went to the ocean.  Come to think of it, I hold you non-load-securing dick drippings in the same regard as I hold the show "Jersey Shore".  Or New Jersey.  You had better thank your lucky stars that I didn't have my bag of spark plugs with me, because I would have been launching them at you once I finished spitting out gravel.

In conclusion, get bent, you worthless shitstains.

Warm Regards,

Ragin' Dave