How to be a shitty parent, forever

Start by naming your daughter "Abcde".  Apparently it's pronounced "Ab-City".  But you know what?  If you cannot give your child a name that doesn't need to be explained every single time it's used, then you're the problem.

If you have to say "It's pronounced....." after every time you introduce your child, you're a failure as a parent. 

Reminds me of a story I heard from someone who was working in a hospital.  This medical professional took one look at the name, said "Nope, can't say that", and used his last name to call him in the ER.  "Mr. Williams?"  Only "Mr. Williams" was a teenager, and his mother was there.  And his mother didn't like this lady using his last name.  Nope.  Took umbrage with it, in fact.  Got all pissy, because the first name wasn't being used.  So mama stands up, looks at this medical professional, and spits out "It's Sha-THEED!"  Yeah.  Shatheed.  Only it wasn't spelled Shatheed, it was spelled Shithead.

This dumb ass woman named her son Shithead.  Pronounced ShaTHEED.  I'm betting her name was LaQuantia or something moronic like that.