Dear Amazon

I've owned a Kindle Paperwhite for years.  Loved it.  My old one died after years of use, and I picked up a new Kindle Paperwhite, because why change what works, right?

Only it doesn't work.  Well, it kinda does, but not nearly as well as it used to.

Apparently, when you synch your Kindle, and download a book, you don't really download a book.  No, you "queue" it up.  So the book I purchased, and supposedly downloaded in my hotel room, is "queued" up.  But when I go to open it, it's not downloaded.  Nope, that would be too easy!  And guess where I can't download it?  At the fucking Louisville airport, where I'm wanting to read a book.  And thanks to your experimental browser, I can't connect to the airport wi-fi.  Which means I don't have my book for my flight.

So Amazon, fuck you, you brainless fucking fucktards.  You took a simple one-step process and fucked it up, you bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.  You took a good thing, a simple, good thing that did what you wanted it to do, and you fucked it up.

Your new Kindle Paperwhite is kinda like New Coke.  Had I known that you added a bunch of gee-whiz shiny doo-dads, but made the damn thing harder to use, I would have purchased a Barnes and Noble Nook.  As it is, I'm about to go shell out the cash to buy one and toss your fucking Kindle into the trash.

I'm a simple guy.  I want objects that are supposed to do their job to do their fucking job.  You have failed in that regard, Amazon.  And what makes it even worse is your prior Kindle was a masterpiece of simplicity, that did its job flawlessly every time with minimal prompting.  All your fancy gizmos don't change the fact that you fucked up a perfectly good product, and as a result I'm reading fewer books now, because why the fuck am I going to spend good money when I can't even download the fucking book, EVEN THOUGH THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I TOLD YOUR FUCKING KINDLE TO DO IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Amazon just got too smart for it's own good.  I don't need a bunch of flashy bullshit on a piece of technology that doesn't work.  The new Kindle Paperwhite is like a chromed dog turd.  Oh, look, it's all shiny!  Yeah.  And it's still a dog turd.

I can't believe I spent good money on this.

I need more sleep.