To the Fat Ass on the Crotch-Rocket

I applaud your decision to wear a full-face helmet, and I'd like to congratulate you for being so mindful about your head.  Unfortunately, the fact that you were wearing nothing but a t-shirt, shorts and tennis shoes means that when the slack-jawed fuckwit Hyundai driver sideswipes you, the rest of your body is going to look more like ground meat rather than anything remotely human after your skin has been removed by the pavement.  Luckily for your family, your use of a full-face helmet means that they can still have an open casket funeral for you. 

Again, congratulations for using a helmet!