Now, just wait a minute!

I object to calling this guy a ferret-faced freak!

1. Ferrets are cute. This guy? Not so much. In fact, I don't know if it's the angle of the photo or if this guy is naturally that unfortunate, but it looks like he fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

2. Ferrets, being part of the weasel family, hunt, kill, and eat rodents. Rodents much like the worthless rat-bastard in that article.

3. Ferrets are happy, playful critters. When they get going, they practically radiate joy. From the look on that guy's face, he hasn't played since about 1980 or so.

4. Ferrets are highly intelligent. Take a look at the guy in that picture. He's either so stoned he can't remember his name, or he's got an IQ you can roll on a pair of dice.

So he can't be "ferret-faced". Let's go with "rat-faced freak" instead. It fits much better.