Friday, September 28, 2007

Random Thoughts

Norman Hsu needs to be hung around Hillary Clinton's neck like an albatross for the rest of her life. It's tangible proof of just how corrupt she really is.

I hate car commercials. Especially those that have the little subtitles "Professional Driver. Closed Course. Do Not Attempt." Well thank you Sherlock! You mean to tell me that the average driver can't do mondo jumps over a desert course? Gosh, I never would have thunk it!

I hate the fact that America has become so infested with moronic, greedy, dipshit idiot assholes that the disclaimers like the one I listed above have become necessary.

In fact, I think that we don't need to have labels on ELECTRIC HAIR DRYERS that say "Do not use in the bath or shower"! I mean, seriously! If someone is so fucking dumb that they take an ELECTRIC FUCKING HAIR DRYER into the shower with them, won't we be better off as a race if they die? Do we want those people to breed their stupidity into the gene pool?

For that matter, why don't we start hanging up signs that encourage the stupid among us to kill themselves? My old buddy Roy used to say that we need to take down all the warning signs at gas stations. You know, the ones that warn you to put any gas cans on the ground, don't use your cell phone, don't drink the gasoline, yada yada yada. Roy said screw all that. Put up a sign that states "GASOLINE TASTES GREAT ON CORNFLAKES" And once all those stupid people put gasoline on their cornflakes and DIE AS EVOLUTION SAYS THEY SHOULD, we could figure out a new sign, until the only people left are the ones smart enough to NOT DRINK GASOLINE. Or take electric hair dryers into the shower.

I'm willing to bet my entire paycheck that if we killed off all those stupid people, the number of Democrat American Communist Party voters would drop by 75%, as the stupid died off and left the evil people to be branded, tarred and feathered, and then shot. Because you only vote for the Democrat American Communist Party for two reasons: You're either stupid or evil. With the stupid people dead, that leaves the evil people easy targets!

Was that mean? Yeah, probably. Too bad. They're trying to forced a system of government on my country that has caused the death of over 100 million people. I think being mean is only fair.

I can't decide whether peanut M&M's are evil or good. I just know I love eating them.

Congress still needs to be hung from lamp posts and used as target practice.

Meh. I've been busy today, can you tell? Or maybe I've had too many gin and tonics. Bombay Sapphire, baybee!

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