I ran into this article from Military.com
http://www.military.com/spouse/fs/0,,fs_Smiley_082207,00.html?ESRC=family.nl

Mrs. Smiley makes some poignant observations about military nuptials that are near and dear to my heart!

The military reality, that is.

Uncle Sam is famous for causing fast nuptials when duty calls.

My point: Break-ups that seemingly occur "because of the military" have less to do with the rigors of military life than they do with the couple themselves. For all the stories of long, successful marriages that came out of WWII, there are surely just as many stories about ones that failed. All of which is on par with reality. Some people are meant to be, and some are not. Uncle Sam doesn't change that; he just tests it faster. There's nothing like the military to give "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part" a run for its money before the bride's bouquet has dried out and lost its leaves. In fact, the whole idea of a "honeymoon" period is a joke for most military couples. But that's life.

Sure it's sad that a couple has parted ways, but if you're tempted to blame the military for the would-be Mr. and Mrs. Andy Baldwin's demise, there is no need for sympathy. Already, bloggers, some with an obsessive attraction to Andy and Tessa (named "Andessa" by cultish followers), have begun claiming that if it weren't for the mean, oppressive military, Andessa would "live forever!"

Really?

If you believe that, consider this: When a couple gets married and immediately uproots to a new location (compliments of Uncle Sam), all they have is each other. Literally. Then, if the servicemember is deployed, all they have is faith, love, and, hopefully, e-mail. It's been my experience that these conditions make relationships that are "meant to be" stronger, not weaker.

It is a fallacy, really, that the military lifestyle makes or breaks a marriage. The lifestyle simply separates the strong from the weak quicker than most. And for Andessa, that separation came quicker than — well, quicker than a deployment to Iraq.

© 2007 Sarah Smiley.


About the Author
Sarah Smiley's syndicated column, Shore Duty, appears weekly in newspapers and magazines across the country. She is the daughter and wife of two Navy pilots, and has 28 years of experience as a military dependent. Next year, Penguin/New American Library will release her memoirs. Check Out http://tracking.military.com/cgi-bin/outlog.cgi?url=http%3A//www.SarahSmiley.com&code=SmileySite for more details and updates.

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