Damn, it's a busy day

You know those chicken wings I didn't get to eat this weekend? I made 'em up tonight. My own sauce. My scalp is sweating right now. Literally. I have sweat rolling off my head and down my neck.

Oh god, that's good.

One of my troops came in to the office today, needed a little help. So I'm helping him out with a paperwork issue, and he starts talking about a rat he killed this week. Now, he lives in the hills, raises goats and rabbits, a tiny little farm, yada yada yada. So he's telling me about how this rat fell into a trashcan that was partially full of water. He doesn't want to just tip the can over, because rats are a big problem in Puerto Rico. But it was a big rat, and he doesn't want to stick his hand into the barrel because it might get shredded. So he grabs a broom and pushes the rat under the water.

I guess it was a tough son-of-a-bitch, because it took a while to stop kicking. And for anyone who reads this and goes "Oh, the poor rat!" well, just step back and rethink yourself. We're talking about disease spreading, thieving little vermin here. There's no chance of rats going extinct, OK?

So anyways, he kills this rat. And then, because the damn thing was so big, he decides to weigh the sumbitch and see how heavy it was.

Sixteen pounds.

............


Um.......


SIXTEEN FUCKING POUNDS OF RAT! What the holy hell was that thing eating? WHAT KIND OF A RAT GROWS TO SIXTEEN FUCKING POUNDS?!?!?!?!

If we ever stop raising cows, we can just raise damn rats until their sixteen fucking pounds and eat THEM bastards.