I wish this was satire

So, there I was, reading Michele Malkin, and I read this little tidbit:

Chuck Schumer walked out before the judges started to speak. Teddy Kennedy showed up late, stayed for 10 minutes, then left. Pat Leahy put on a dour face for a short time, and also bailed. Dianne Feinstein, to her credit, remained for the duration and asked respectful questions.

What is she referring to? When six judges sat down to speak about the qualifications of Justice Alito, the worthless, spineless, yellow-bellied, hypocritical, slimy, worthless shitsack Democrats (redundancy alert) who had beem smearing Justice Alito for several days with their lies and hysterics DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO LISTEN TO THEM!

Powerline says it better than I can, mainly because I can't see my screen very well due to the red haze of rage that has settled over my eyes.

This is truly extraordinary. Extraordinary that Judge Alito's colleagues have turned out to defend him against the Democrats' smears; extraordinary that the Democrats themselves couldn't be bothered to stick around to hear what this distinguished group of judges had to say. After all, if the Democrats were actually interested in what kind of judge Sam Alito is, these are precisely the witnesses who could tell them. If the Democrats really thought that Alito's judicial opinions reflect poorly on him, these are exactly the people who could answer their questions, and, if they are correct, confirm their fears. But the Democrats apparently knew that wasn't going to happen. The only conclusion one can draw is that the Democrats knew they were smearing a fine man and a fine judge. But the fact that they didn't even have the decency or respect to stay and listen to Alito's colleagues is disgusting.

Just when you think that the Dhimmocrats couldn't get any worse, they sink to a new level. And to top it all off, I also saw this:

Meet the latest children's author, Sen. Ted Kennedy, and his Portuguese Water Dog, Splash, his co-protagonist in "My Senator and Me: A Dogs-Eye View of Washington, D.C."

The very same worthless fucking drunken shitwad who drove off a bridge in his car and allowed a woman to drown to death in his passenger seat has a Portuguese water dog named "SPLASH"!!!!!

Well gosh Ted, maybe if Splash had been in the car with you back then, Mary Joe wouldn't be in her grave right now, where she is undoubtedly rolling at high velocity! HAVE ANOTHER FUCKING DRINK, YOU WORTHLESS SODDEN ASSCANNON!

You know what I think? Ted Kennedy has been braindead for years, but no one really noticed because there's so much alcohol in his system that his body is perfectly preserved. And since he's been an incoherent brainless fucktard for decades, there hasn't been a change in the crap that comes out of his mouth.

In short, he's a perfect example of a Democrat.