Olympic Gripes

So, I want to know who the wise guy at NBC is who decided that the Olympic Games would be best watched if they only put them on late at night. Honestly, coverage doesn't start until 8:00 PM, and the actual competition doesn't end until around 11:30 to midnight. WHAT THE HELL?????

Gee, I wonder why more people aren't watching the games! Maybe it's because when you have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn, you're in no mood to sacrifice several hours of sleep! But I guess the braindead, slackjawed, half-wit drooling morons at NBC think that EVERYBODY stays up till midnight, even when they have to wake up way to damn early in order to get to work on time. And the COMMERCIALS! Every five minutes, and they make sure to put them in the most inopportune places. I'm personally boycotting each and every company I see a commercial for on NBC when I'm trying to watch the games. GEICO? No go. Nexium? Alka-seltzer, bitch! I got yer little purple pill right here, only it's not purple it's more of a tan-peach color, has five fingers, and is about to wrap itself around your scrawny neck!

Ya know what? Maybe I should just follow Steve's example and forgo the games entirely. I'm tired of pretending that women with more facial hair than me and voices that make Barry White sound positively sproano-ish aren't using performance enhancing drugs. It used to be the Eastern Bloc, because the Soviets were desperate to prove that they were better than America. East German females were shaving more often than my dad, and had voices that attracted such animals as bull moose and grizzly bears with their deep, delicate basso tones. "No, I do not use steroids. Now excuse, I must go wax my back." They'd give interviews where you could practically see the marks of the horseneedles they used to juice up. Now it's the Asian communists, and every one else out there who wanted to use the secret "drink". Do you think those Eastern Bloc coaches just left the sport? Hell no, they got hired by every other country looking to take a Tall Dog down, and they brought their magic bags of goodies with them. Training and nutrition can only go so far. Modern science is helping with the rest.

I'm not even going to mention Olympic "security".

There are a few sports I'd like to watch. Gymnastics, both women's and men's. I don't care what drugs are out there, I have yet to see a drug that turns people into a human Rubiks Snake. Equestrian. The shooting events. I mean, I can find any number of replays of the swimming, the diving, the syncronized diving (WTF??? Who came up with THAT?), but try to find the 100m air rifle competition and you're SOL. Same with archery, skeet shooting, and anything that might have to do with firearms or other tools that make the GFW's poop their pants. ("EEEK! BOW AND ARROWS! REGULATE! REGULATE!") And even if they DID show those events it would probably be at 1:30 in the morning while I'm sleeping.

Screw it, maybe I should just wait for the Winter Olympics. They haven't been as tainted as the Summer Olympics, except for Ice Skating, which has always been as crooked as the Mafia during Prohibition, and I never watch that anyways. I'm into the Biathalon.

(Cross-Country skiing and shooting, for those who don't know. Maybe an American will actually win it next time.)