Snotching it

What is snotching, you ask? You might remember a little piece back in October, where an ABC reporter caused me to blow scotch out my nose in astonishment. A commenter suggested the term "snotching it", for when you're so astounded that the painful nasal cavity/scotch mixture occurs.

It happened again. John Stossel made me snotch it.

Lies, Myths and Downright Stupidity: Stossel's List of Popularly Reported Misconceptions

That was the title of the piece. So far so good. Still could be edited by ABC to suck, but let's see.

Myth No. 10: Getting Cold Can Give You a Cold

OK. I already knew that, but it's nice to have it confirmed. The next few could be lumped all together.

Myth No. 9: We Have Less Free Time Than We Used To
Myth No. 8: American Families Need Two Incomes
Myth No. 7: Money Can Buy Happiness

Normal so far. Then comes this piece:

Myth No. 6: Republicans Shrink the Government

I'd love to say he was lying, but he wasn't. The Republicans have been spending just as much as the Donks as of late, which is why I no longer consider myself a Republican. As good as Bush has been in the War on Terror, he's been selling us down the river when it comes to domestic spending. And the Donks are just as bad. Is there anyone out there who thinks that a frigging Democrat wouldn't spend just as much of our taxes if not more? I didn't think so. So, we're down to myth number five, which is where the "snotching" moment started to occur.

Myth No. 5: The Rich Don't Pay Their Fair Share of Taxes

We've all heard this one during the presidential campaign. When it comes to income taxes, the Democratic presidential candidates keep telling us, the rich don't pay enough.

(........)

But that's so silly because, and I bet most of you don't know this, the IRS says the richest 1 percent of taxpayers already pay 34 percent of all income taxes. Twice what Sharpton wanted them to pay.

Still you may feel the rich should pay even more. It's a tempting thought, since they have so much.

But let's remember the facts: the top 1 percent of Americans, those who earn more than about $300,000 a year pay 34 percent, more than a third of all income taxes, and the top 5 percent, those making over $125,000, pay more than half

Ho. Lee. Shit. Once again, I cannot believe that ABC actually allowed that to air. And just as I'm recovering, Myth Number Four comes on.

Myth No. 4: Chemicals Are Killing Us

Cancer death rates are actually declining in America. But our fear is contagious and sometimes deadly.

Health Minister Jim Muhwezi of Uganda points out that as many as two million to three million people may die annually because of DDT. But not because DDT is bad, but because Americans' fear of it has deprived much of the world of the DDT that could have saved them.

"If it's DDT, it must be awful. And that's fine if you're a rich, white environmentalist," says Amir Attaran, a scientist leading a campaign urging the use of DDT to fight malaria. "It's not so fine if you're a poor black kid who's about to lose his life from malaria."

The U.S. Agency for International Development defends its approach saying its programs are as effective as DDT. Yet, it fights malaria with drugs that the government's own Web site admits fail up to 80 percent of the time. USAID acknowledges DDT is safe as currently used, but won't pay for it.

I wish the interviews that he had on were transfered to the webpage, because it was astounding. Stossel was raking some USAID spokesman over the coals, and it looked like she was going to throw a fit on camera. He compared the use of DDT in the 50's to the use of DDT now, showing the differences, and it's unreal.

Myth No. 3: Guns are Bad

Full snotching in effect. I should have just put my drink down after Myth #5.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, however, fewer than 100 kids 15 and under are killed in gun accidents every year. Of course that's horrible, and I understand why demonstrators say we need more gun control.

But guess what? The Centers for Disease Control recently completed a review of studies of various types of gun control: background checks, waiting periods, bans on certain guns and ammunition. It could not document that these rules have reduced violent crime.

Stossel actually went to prison and interviewed criminals who had used guns in their crimes. These criminals LAUGHED at the gun laws! They LAUGHED!

The government wants to say things like the Brady Gun Control Law are making a difference, but they aren't. Some maximum security felons I spoke to in New Jersey scoffed at measures like the Brady law. They said they'll have no trouble getting guns if they want them.

A Justice Department study confirmed what the prisoners said. But get this: the felons say that the thing they fear the most is not the police, not time in prison, but, you, another American who might be armed. (emphasis mine)

It's a reason many states are passing gun un-control. They're allowing citizens to carry guns with them; it's called concealed carry or right to carry. Some women say they're comforted by these laws.

Many people are horrified at the idea of concealed carry laws, and predict mayhem if all states adopt these laws.

But surprise, 36 states already have concealed carry laws, and not one reported an upsurge in gun crime.

HOLY Jebus H. Bend-me-over-and-fist-me CHRIST, SOMEBODY FINALLY SAID IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT! We've been screaming this for YEARS, and SOMEBODY FINALLY PUT IT ON NATIONAL TV!!!!!! I'm on the couch twitching with shock, and the girlfriend has pried the glass out of my hand and put it on the coffee table.

Myth No. 2: We're Drowning in Garbage

....Cynthia Pollack of the WorldWatch Institute said back in 1987 that we were approaching an emergency situation. But it wasn't true

The EPA says while some cities have to ship garbage out, overall landfill capacity is actually increasing. All around America, people are building bigger landfills. Some landfill owners are competing for our trash.

Let's see here... We've had a direct bitchslapping to the Republicans, the Democrats, the Eco-freaks, the Gun Grabbing Commies, another slap at the Eco freaks... I don't know how Stossel is still employed by ABC. Peter Jennings must have had a coronary after seeing that. Did someone tie up the ABC suits and stuff them in a closet while this thing aired? That's the only explination that I have for a far-left company like ABC to allow this piece airtime. Kudos to whoever gave Stossel the go on this.

And Myth #1? The Good old days. They weren't as good. And as someone who has indeed washed his clothes by hand, I can confirm this for ya. Everybody talks about the Good 'Ol Days, but nobody can really tell me what was so good about them.

So there you have it. Yet another full fledged Snotching by yours truly. Go read the Stossel piece, and tell me what you think.