Nobel Prize in Medicine Awarded to MRI Developers

Scientific American

Each year, doctors perform approximately 60 million magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans to treat patients for a variety of ailments."

No such luck for me, alas. A few months ago I had some, errr, urinary tract issues so I called a Urologist. He had no open appointments for three weeks, so I made the appointment but went to see my General Practitioner ASAP. My GP prescribed some antibtiotics but recommened that I see the Urologist anyway, since there's a history of bladder cancer in my family.

"He'll give you an MRI," she said.

At my scheduled appointment the Urologist tells me MRIs cannot detect bladder cancer so they'd have to scope me and would I please take my clothes off and put on this robe.

Ten minutes later he's inserting a scope as long as my forearm (and, if the pain was any indicator, with a comparable girth) into my tallywacker to peek around my innards.

"That hurt," I thought, when the sadistic bastard had completed his Qusayesque torture.

But, no.

That didn't hurt.

What did hurt was the next twenty-four hours of urination, when my weiner burned like the hammers of hell as if I had had unsheathed multi-orificial sex with every polluted Thai call girl on the face of Mother Earth.

Then I got hold of a neat drug and oh, what a relief it was.

Whomever invented pyridium should get the Nobel. Eff those MRI guys.

That is all.