There's nothing quite like a hot Italian lady dressed in black!
WHOOPS! Right country, wrong lady! Ah, here's the one:
Meet Diana. She's a Benelli Nova in 12 gauge, all black, and all mine.
Now I know there are going to be some people who said "Dave, we said REMINGTON, not BENELLI!" Yes, you did say Remington, but let me tell you about my little trip to the gun shop. As I was perusing the shotguns and chatting with the salesman, we got down to the brass tacks of what I wanted. I wanted to be able to hunt ducks, geese, turkey, various other waterfowl, and anyone stupid enough to come into my house uninvited. I was not going to be hunting deer with it. And of course, I was looking for as low a price as possible so I could afford all the various accoutrements that go along with a gun; a hard gun case, plenty of ammo to train with, cleaning supplies, et cetera. And the salesman looks at me, says "I've got your gun. Hold on." and then disappears into the back. He comes back holding this gun. The only time it's been fired is when the gunsmith tested it. It's brand freakin' new, so new it practically SQUEAKS when I hold it. Some guy won it in a raffle and decided that he didn't want it, so he sold it to the gun shop. Since they bought it from a person rather than from the manufacturer, they have to consider it a used gun.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I walked out of that shop with the brand new Benelli shotgun, ammo, case, snap caps and a few other things for under $350.
So yes, you did tell me to get a Remington. But Diana, she seduced me with her sweet whisperings into my ears (and wallet). Maybe it's the Italian blood in me.
And so now I'm ready to go target shooting. Practice, practice, practice, and then go hunting. Ah, sweet duck on my plate! I can taste it already........ And if you're wondering about the name, yes, it's THIS Diana. Not that other Diana.