Day by Day

Friday, June 12, 2009

Free Association FU

Every now and then someone else writes something that reminds me what a piker I am when it comes to a good rant:

Well played UAW, well played. You shit on your own plate, and rejoiced when you were served seconds. You couldn’t have fucked yourselves any better if you had handcuffed yourselves to a radiator bent over, spread, and pre-lubed in a San Fran sex offender halfway house.

Fuck you!

(.....)

Speaking of beer and (cough) “music”, I stopped after work at the pub for some fish and chips last Friday with Contagion. Beer. Fish. Friend. Malt Vinegar! Good! Band…. band BAD. Oh… oh god Band REALLY BAD! Band make Grau want to jam fists into transparent battle maces (AKA Bass pint glasses) and bludgeon the guy singing some kind of fucking dirge to accordion music and some kind of pseudo-steel guitar into paste! AIIGHHHH make it STOP make it STOP!!! Grau SMASH!

Seriously, it was like “What if we took classic rock tunes and sung them off key to someone who actually manages to play accordion like they spent their formative years huffing paint while listening to the Cure”

It’s an Oompah-GothTard tribute band.

One of the bartenders there is pregnant. I implored her to either allow me to mercy kill the band, or vacate the area before she ended up birthing a Democrat Sea Monkey Yeti ThingThatShouldNotBe. Alas, the damage may have already been done.

That part had me laughing so hard I almost fell off the couch! To the blogroll with you!

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