Day by Day

Monday, October 22, 2007

Alpha females vs. Alpha males

Or, another way that feminism ruined romance. As Cassie Fiano puts it: Alpha females: Get off your high horse. You can go read the entire thing. While I agree with much of Mrs. Fiano's sentiments, there's been a fundamental shift in our society that can only be called a "bad thing", and it's entirely due to feminism. That shift has been the definition of an "Alpha Female".

Modern feminists would have you believe that women a century ago were oppressed, little more than slaves, captive to a man's every whim. While that might have been the case in some areas, women were masters of the home. Plain and simple, a woman ruled the house. The man provided money and food, the woman provided a home. I'm not going to fantasize about a open-range queen who was master of everything she saw, but at some point men and women settled into the customs and traditions that had been in use for all of history.

But that's all changed now, hasn't it? Men as a rule don't have any spaces that are uniquely theirs, and women are told that staying at home is the least preferable option.

Ladies, here's a thought for you. Although women's roles have changed over the years, a man's role has not, at least not in any real appreciable way. Men are still supposed to be the providers. We should be bringing home the bacon, only now women are supposed to bring home the bacon as well. Well, here's your clue.


When a man comes home, tired, sore, stressed or a mix of all three, and he sees his wife coming home in the exact same condition, he starts to wonder if it's all worth it. What is he working for? Someone else is raising his kids. Dinner is either store bought or hastily thrown together. Everyone is too damn tired to do anything but eat and go to bed.

Why in the name of god would a man work himself to death for that?

Does that seem sexist? Probably. But if you take away a man's reason for working and living, then you get something less. Hell, not even a beta male, but something farther down the food chain. Like it or not, men are hardwired to go out, club something over the head and drag it back to the cave. But if men don't have a reason to go back to that cave, then they're not going to go through the effort. The reason men don't want alpha females has nothing to do with being insecure, or not "being man enough". Hell, given a chance most men would love to have a woman bringing home big bucks every month. But at what cost?

Men do not want to come home to a wife who's cranky from being at work all day, kids that are going nuts because some idiot in a public school is raising them, and dinner cooked by some guy who's working for peanuts behind a line grill. At some point, men looked around and said "Screw this, it's not worth it." I should know. I was there, right at that point, and if I hadn't have met the most wonderful woman on the face of the earth there was no way in hell I would have gotten married.

If you want a man to deal with all the bullshit of daily life to provide for a family, then dammit, YOU NEED TO GIVE HIM A FAMILY TO DO IT ALL FOR! Otherwise he'll do what many men today have done - simply shrugged their shoulders and continued being bachelors.

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