Day by Day

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

I'm laughing and crying at the same time

Seriously, take a gander at this and tell me - Scrappleface? The Onion? Or actual news story?

The Boca Raton News reported last week that more than 30 distraught Kerry supporters in South Florida contacted the non-profit AHA following their candidate’s Nov. 3 concession to President Bush. AHA officials have diagnosed the disorder as Post Election Selection Trauma (PEST) and have scheduled the first of several free group therapy sessions for just after Thanksgiving.

Cooperman, whose professional practice is based in Delray Beach, said the election-related symptoms she sees in the Kerry supporters more than quality PEST as “a legitimate syndrome or disorder within the trauma spectrum,” according to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.


A man named Paul wrote to AHA, “I too was very depressed, and I knew a lot people who felt the same way. You have to understand that to many of us, this was the key election about the future of our country, and with a Bush win that future is pretty much destroyed. Naturally, there’s going to be some significant grief.”

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (gasp, wheeze, snort) Oh God, let me catch my breath! Hooooooooo boy! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Gordon said the AHA on Monday also received its first out-of-state call – from a fixed-income woman in Texas who is “absolutely terrified of what Bush will do” – and scheduled a free telephone therapy session with her for today.

Douglas Schooler, the Boca Raton trauma specialist who treated 20 people with hypnotherapy following Kerry’s loss, said he believes many people suffering from election-related symptoms are still afraid to step forward.“The Republicans want Kerry voters to shut up and pretend they’re not feeling anything,” Schooler said. “But many people have serious emotional pain over this election and it’s unhealthy to stuff it down inside of you. Therapy is the best way.”


Oh, wait.... you're fucking SERIOUS???


What kind of wimpering, sniveling idiot do you have to be in order to need mental help over an election? What kind of weak, pathetic rube goes to hypnotherapy over an election, ferchristsakes? You know what? I'll bet good money that these mental midgets were fucked up BEFORE the damn election, and now they're using the election as another excuse to lay on some shrink's couch and sob about how they had sexual fantasies about their mother!

And the best part? This whole article is about how Rush Limbaugh offered "free therapy" to these people, and these morons are pissed about it!

Mental health officials in South Florida blasted Rush Limbaugh on Monday, saying the conservative talk show host’s offer of “free therapy” for traumatized John Kerry voters has made a mockery of a valid psychological problem.

There's a good argument that if you voted for John Kerry, you already had a valid psychological problem, but I'll leave that for the pros. Seriously folks, if this isn't an indicator of how pathetic and weak the Democrats are, I don't know what is. You couldn't write satire any funnier than this! You just can't! And what are they calling their condition? PEST! HAAAAAAAAA!

Thanks to Mike for giving me a laugh. Go check out his more serious pieces.

UPDATE: The liberals have PEST. The Grouchy Old Cripple has PEGFYS. Yeah. Post Election GFY Syndrome. You fill in the words!


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