Day by Day

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Laughing..... Too...... Hard......

Must.... Catch..... Breath....

From a comment thread over at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler, George Turner comes up with this parody that had me rolling on the floor laughing until I hurt. It was too damn good, so I'm going to re-post it in it's entirety.

[To the tune of The Major General's Song]

I am the very model of a modern left wing democrat.
I preach both Dean and Chomsky in forums on the internet.
I can’t hold long a single thought. I need to take my Ritalin.
Now what was that you asked of me? Did I just take my vitamin?
I cannot lose an argument, so why don’t you get used to it.
I won’t concede a single point, even if there’s no truth in it.
No matter what you say to me, I’ll post back an ad-homenim.
Regardless of the things you do, you’re all BushHitler’s supermen
They call me Howard Dean's true joy, and I fling Marx like it was poo.
On all the countless websites that my drivel is cross-posted to.

Chorus:
We call him Howard Dean's true joy, and he flings Marx like it was poo.
On all the countless weblogs that his drivel is cross-posted to.
On all the countless weblogs that his drivel is cross-posted to.


Your weblog I will litter with my often posted snivelling
And you all have to pay the bill, supporting all my drivelling.
My posts run on for sixty lines of mindless dreck and scribbling,
Big blocks of Marx and Morford too, plump out my posts with twiddling.
Impossible to penetrate much less on which to cogitate
I don’t see how you can relate, to my simplistic mental state.
I will flame you with invective till you yield to my perspective.
Of socialist utopia when we join the big collective.
My whole outlook is progressive my belief is so obsessive
All your taxes are regressive cause with stuff we are possessive.

Chorus:
His whole outlook is progressive his belief is so obsessive
All our taxes are regressive cause with stuff they are possessive.
All our taxes are regressive cause with stuff they are possessive.

I’m ignorant of simple facts, both social and historical.
So don’t confuse me with your lies, just argue metaphorical.
No matter what you say to me, I’ll argue opposite you see.
If provably you show I’m wrong I’ll change the question joyfully.
My facts are bad, conclusions too, my arguments erroneous,
You’ll be crying oh boo hoo, cause I’m so sanctimonious.
My learning is extensive but is nothing more than Chomskyia,
Designed to fan my hatred of the Empire called Amerika,
Your ruler soon is coming down, we'll crush him like a big ass clown
In future Dean will wear the crown, so I don't care if you all drown.
I am the very model of a left wing personality.
I intersperse mendacity with vacuous opacity.

Chorus:
He is the very model of a left wing personality.
He’ll intersperse mendacity with vacuous opacity.
He’ll intersperse mendacity with vacuous opacity.

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