Warning: The following may disturb you, and even make you wonder what the hell I'm drinking.
"I hate conservatives, but I really fucking hate liberals" Matt Stone, co-creater, South Park
I think that sums it up rather nicely. I'd like to say that I'm conservative, and I'll admit that I make some of my conservative pals go "Dave, what the hell are you thinking?" because I'm farther to the right than they are. But I'll be damned if I want to get lumped in with Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell. Hell, I'll be damned if I want to get lumped in with my dad. We've had several debates over drug use, and he always responds with "When do you draw the line? Why not just give up (on the drug war)?" My response is "Dad, America already has."
My conservatism has to do more with personal responsibility than what other people think is right. I'm far from anti-gay. Hell, my favorite aunt is gay, my girlfriend is bi, and my favorite drinking buddy is a guy who gets whipped and fucked by another guy on a monthly basis. I don't give a shit about your sexuality as long as it doesn't effect me, OK? You like whips, chains, BDSM, go for it. AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT EFFECT ME. Same with your drug use. I hate drugs. I can't stand to be around someone who's high, stoned, tweaking, whatever. But as long as your drug use doesn't effect me, go for it. I'll be at your funeral when you're 35 and the dope has eaten away what's left of your liver, and I'll be sad, but IT'S YOUR CHOICE! You want to jab a needle into your arm, so be it. What pisses me off isn't the fact that you're getting high, it's the fact that once you've done more drugs than a Thai hooker, you take your broken down, worthless ass to the hospital, where my tax dollars pay for you to get healthy, to the tune of millions of dollars. THAT bugs me. You've just imposed on me, either directly or indirectly, due to YOUR LIFE'S CHOICES.
And THAT is what pisses me off. You should be free to stick a syringe into your vein, but it should not me MY responsibility to pull that needle out. "Oh, I was high and I got knocked up, and now I'm popping out a kid and going on welfare." SCREW YOU! YOU made the choice to get high. YOU made the choice to screw some loser you didn't know. And you YOU should bear the cost. NOT me, my girlfriend, my pals, my co-workers, NOBODY BUT YOU! Is that harsh? God, I hope so. This country could use a bit of harshness. Harshing the Moonbat's mellow is what I'm all about, Baby. You tell me what's more effective: Telling your kids "Oh, don't use drugs, drugs are bad", or explaining to your kids "The reason that man is lying in the gutter covered in his own shit and puke is because he wanted to get high on heroin." We have spent so much time and money protecting people from the consequences of their own actions that we've raised a generation who CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Do I sound like Jack? Do I? Good. Because if you got past that crappy liberal feel-good BULLSHIT in "A Few Good Men" you'd see that Jack was right. We DO need men on that wall. We DO need harsh methods to weed the good from the bad. If you had to be protected from a mugger by someone else, do you want some liberal dipshit who's going to say "Oh, wait, we need to understand where the mugger is coming from, we need to feel his pain" or do you want someone like ME who's going to pull out his pistol and say "Fuck you asshole, you picked the wrong person to fuck with tonight"???? IF YOUR LIFE IS ON THE LINE, who would you want next to you? A liberal or a conservative? I'll give you 10-1 odds on who's better armed.
But on the other hand, I have no problem if YOU want to help someone else out. I give to the Red Cross. I give to United Way from every one of my paychecks. I give to the Salvation Army. But I CHOSE TO DO THAT. NOT you, NOT the government, NOT Mr. Smith down the street. ME. And I do it because I WANT to! I've taken bums to lunch, because they said they were hungry. I've put people up in my house for months on end until they got a job and could support themselves. I've helped people get those jobs. Not because some nanny-state fuckwit said I should, not because some liberal twit came up with a plan, but because it was the right thing for me to do. THAT is conservatism to me.
The bottom line is this: There is no place for me in the modern definition of conservatism. But because I'm damn near antithetical to the modern definition of Liberalism, guess where I get lumped in? We need to make another discription, because the only one I go for is "RIGHT".
By the way: The article I linked to is worth reading for more than just the quote. It's worth reading once, and then getting a glass of scotch and reading again.