Day by Day

Monday, September 01, 2003

Monday Morning Laughts

Found over at Vodka Pundit:

50 Things al Qaeda Hates about America

1 - Freedom of speech
2- -Unhindered scientific inquiry
3 - Recent advances in airline security
4 - Your lewd women
5 - Illegal detentions of Muslims by John Ashcroft's Justice Department
6 - Worshipping false idols not punishable by death
7 - Most citizens uninformed about Allah's mercy and justice
8 - The 82nd Airborne Division
9 - McRibs actually contain small amount of real pork
10 - Cities full of clean-shaven pretty boys
11 - The seduction of youth by Demi Moore
12 - Louis Farrakhan's geeky little bowties make us look bad
13 - Trampy "Sex in the City" girls won't stick around for a seventh season
14 - On pilot school admission essay question, spelling counts
15 - Can no one make Al Franken shut up?
16 - Snooty Holiday Inn clerks can always tell when you ordered porn
17 - The Arabic dub of "Jakob the Liar" just didn't do it justice
18 - No international shipping for "Coed Naked Volleyball" t-shirts
19 - That "camel jockey" thing turns out to be an insult
20 - A lap dance is still 20 bucks, even when the song is short
21 - Unable to find decent falafel anywhere in Oklahoma
22 - "The Matrix Reloaded" just leaves you hanging
23 - Lambskin condoms not actually for lambs
24 - All those Wilfred Brimley ads on Fox News Channel
25 - Infidels who say "irregardless" when it's just "regardless," damnit
26 - There will be no forgiveness for the "Bobby dreamed it all" season of Dallas
27 - Reliable and affordable breast reduction surgery
28 - Still can't get the original Star Wars on DVD
29 - Miami chicks don't dig unibrows
30 - American convenience stores don't carry anything for burqa rash
31 - Your Brad Pitt makes us feel all funny inside
32 - You ever seen how many dials and doodads there are in a 737 cockpit?
33 - So-called "Sea Monkeys" really just brine shrimp
34 - Widely-held belief that Siegfried & Roy are gay
35 - Having to constantly explain to people that "Sha Na Na" isn't an Arab band
36 - Sneers for not always following the U-after-Q rule
37 - Loud rock'n'roll music intrudes on peaceful ululating
38 - Racism towards Arabs becomes obvious when caught giggling at the Holocaust Museum
39 - We thought a "B-52 strike" meant no more awful singing from Fred Schneider
40 - Not one Arab on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"
41 - Suspicious looks when loading a van full of manure and diesel oil
42 - American harlots never buy that "big beard" myth
43 - You people been real touchy the last couple years
44 - Have you seen the price of gas in New York?
45 - Brother Achmed found Florida ballot most confusing
46 - Couldn't get "The Producers" tickets in time to see Broderick & Lane
47 - That Ten Commandments judge in Alabama is some kind of religious nut
48 - Smartass web pundits with their useless lists
49 - Denise Richards hasn't returned any of our calls
50 - You bastards fight back

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